A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my boyfriend for about a year now. and all of a sudden, the guy i dated before him starts talking to me again and admits he still has feelings for me. i have to admit, we never got our closure, so there's a part of me that's always wondering about what would have happened if we got together. i think i might still have feelings for him. but we know we're both happy with our significant others. and we have no intentions of jeopardizing our relationships. is it possible for two people who have feelings for each other to just be friends? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): it is possible to be friends but at a distance - not only may you hurt your current bf but you may unintentionally hurt your friend too if he has feelings for you...
A
male
reader, Ed1337  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 I wouldn't have anything to do with him, he is in a happy relationship, but decided to contact you again and admit he still has feelings? He will just make your life complicated and maybe ruin things with your current partner.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): My advice is simple. You need to be open and above board about everything.
I obviously don't know your current boyfriend but I know I'd want my girlfriend to tell me anything like that- then we could work through it. If she left it to fester, it could get worse.
Your current bf should be your priority, you need to be honest with him but totally reassure him. It will be much much worse if he finds out about these 'feelings' later down the line.
These feeling are probably just left overs. I still sometimes think about my ex's- although I never see them so its kinda easier.
Anyway, not sure if this is what you wanted to hear but I hope it helps anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 March 2009):
No.
It will make him even more desirable and every time you have a fight with your boyfriend, you'll be imagining him instead.
The rules are that once you know someone has feelings for you, they can no longer be the kind of friend that you hang out alone with. It's not fair and it's not respectful to your boyfriend.
How would you like it if he went and hung out with a girl who had feelings for him? I couldn't STAND that.
You don't have to avoid him, just avoid getting close to him. It's not worth the risk and remember that nothing physical has to happen for it to be cheating. You can have emotional affairs too.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, audie  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 yes it is possible. you just need to talk about it and set bounderies on the amount of time you spend together and the things you do during that time. it'l be kinda hard at first but u get used to the fact that u're just frenz and it gets easier. i suggest you tell ur current partners abut your friendship coz sneaking around will make it look like you doin sumthn wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): Hi There! Hmm, this one isn't difficult at all. There is a reason you and this other guy decided to break up. You probably just don't remember the bad things in the relationship and chances are that you are feeling a bit..well bored..with Mr. now. Rather decide which one you have more feelings for and from which you'll be happier. Also, this is going to crush your current boyfriend so rather tell him than cheat on him. (I know it's crossed your mind) Good luck however.
...............................
|
