A
female
age
41-50,
*wedish_Sensation
writes: I'm in a bit of a dilemma and I need your opinion! OK, I'll start by saying that my boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, and we see each other almost every single day, and he truly seems to love me. He speaks of marriage and he wants to have children with me badly. He is a very affectionate and loving man towards me. We are in our late 20s. However... I went on his laptop and discovered porn movies of mostly Asian chicks, TONS of them. I'm the polar opposite of an Asian girl... I am tall, blonde, and very German-looking. He has mentioned to me before that he always wanted to be with an Asian chick, but brushed it off as a joke. But after seeing the videos of Asian chicks, I am seriously beginning to wonder if he would rather be with an Asian and is just settling for me. He also knows that I have a bit of an issue with him looking at so much porn, since I give him A LOT of sex (usually twice a day), in addition to blowjobs, anal sex, lingerie, and role-playing).It gets better... I also found sites for local escorts (hookers), and he was scrolling their profiles. Upon confrontation, he claimed that a friend mentioned to him that his ex-girlfriend was an escort and he was checking the site for confirmation.AND... last of all, I found out that he had created an online dating profile. In this profile, he stated that him and his girlfriend were looking for another woman to engage in a threesome with us. To clarify, I've always told my boyfriend that I wasn't into threesomes, but he always brought it up jokingly, so finally last weekend, I told him that MAYBE we can have a threesome (to get it over with so he can stop bringing it up already!) The night after that, that is when he created the profile. What sickens me is that I just suffered a miscarriage about 2 weeks ago and all he can think about is having a threesome? He tells me that he seriously fucked up and totally regrets his actions and promises to never do it again or hide anything from me. He said all the right things and asserted that he really wants to be with me and that he is happy with me... but I'm seriously questioning his motives. What do I do? :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): Same age range as you, but dating a guy that is in love with curvy latinas. I'm a white polish girl. How long can you date him know this, I question this myself. No one wants to be second best.
A
female
reader, youngandrestless +, writes (23 December 2010):
well it sounds like he has a porn addiction. has he been single for a while? men can develop a dependance on porn, even when they are in a relationship. dont worry about the asians, just because a man fantasizes about something does not mean he wants that in a mate. i understand about the threesome issue, i went through that myself, my episode didnt end well, he ended up sleeping with the girl and cheating on me. i would suggest trying to hold off the threesome until you are more secure in your relationship. i am worried about the escort profiles, that is taking it past porn. he is not deprived of sex, but porn is different from sex, its like romance novels for us. its something that gives him a different kind of rush, and he may feel it is something only he can experience. if you truly see a future with him, he may need some counciling about his addiction and he needs to stop looking at escorts. you need to be strong and stand your ground on the issues that concern you most. you are a grown beautiful woman and you deserve all his attention and devotion.
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