A
female
age
36-40,
Pr3tty_in_pink86
writes:Here are a few ways you can spot a porn addict. I've had it happen to myself.1. They pick on your appearance, they try to change your appearance. "Can you not wear your hair like that tomorrow?" "Why don't you wear fake tan?"2. They think real sex is like that, they think the women are enjoying it for real. "but you didn't make any noise." "How come you don't do that?"3. They are selfish in the bedroom. They will only like you giving them the pleasure. They will get out of giving you the pleasure. 4. When you are giving them the pleasure they can be rough and annoyed if you are not behaving like the pornstars.5. They may make you do extremely dirty things to mirror the pornstars. 6. They won't like affection. 7. They talk about porn alot and watch the programs associatd with it. 8. They may suffer from ED.9. It may hurt for them to get aroused from masturbating so much.10. They actually speak to the pornstars on social networking sites. 11. They can remember a lot of pornstars names. 12. They watch porn without masturbating to it. 13. They are not interested in sex with you.
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female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (3 March 2013):
Pr3tty_in_pink86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThey would obviously have to have more than one of these on the list.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 OMG I know porn stars names... I must be an addict... actually I know it because my husband has taught me their names and faces... My husband likes porn… A LOT obviously I’m noticing he likes it a lot less since we are a couple…. but still he watches it…
Actually I get the problem and the issues. And I do not dispute that they MAY be indications of porn addiction…. Or not… but I can assure you that any or all of them may be cause to end a relationship even if porn is NOT the reason for the behavior.
To wit:
1.If a man picks at your appearance (for whatever reason) it may not be due to porn… but rather he’s just picky and rude. If he does not love you the way you are, you should leave if you don’t want to change
2.Can’t dispute that if they have never been taught to make love they may think porn sex is the only way to have sex. If they are not willing to learn what you like or how to please you, or at least try new stuff, then it’s a problem. It’s the lack of willingness to change and improve that I see as the problem, not the lack of knowledge for a young man.
3.See number two. If they don’t want to please you, it’s a concern.. this may be from porn or it may just be they are lazy or selfish….
4.Again, if the ONLY sex they have ever seen is porn, then they just do NOT know what is love vs porn sex… and if they REFUSE to change, that’s the problem. If they ONLY want rough sex, then that’s the problem. If they refuse to try new things or say “this is how it’s done like it or leave it” you leave.
5.No man can MAKE you do things unless you want to. You have the right to refuse. If he falls back on ‘but this is how it’s done” or “this is how I like it” or the worst “this is the only way I can cum” and he refuses to try new things or compromise… LEAVE. NEVER do what you don’t want to do and if he forces you it’s sexual assault.
6.I don’t know that I agree with this one… my husband loves porn and porn stars… and yet he’s the most affectionate man I have ever known. He would rather cuddle and kiss than have sex… truly and yet this is man who has paid for escorts in his past AND watched porn regularly… so maybe, maybe not on the affection.
7.I talk about porn a lot. I watch shows on tv about the porn industry and I watch porn both softcore on tv and hardcore on the internet or with rentals. I’m not a porn addict. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I actually watched porn… it’s been in the last six months for softcore though…
8.Many men may suffer from ED… and yes porn can make it worse (that’s psychological ED vs physiological ED which may or may not be related to porn) but in this world, we don’t’ eat well, we smoke, we drink, we don’t exercise, we don’t take care of our bodies and all of these things contribute to ED along with excessive porn use.
9. This can occur even without porn use… some men and women can easily masturbate (a normal natural function) without the use of porn…
10. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen this… and of course it may not be the real stars… but heck if I could talk to the guys from duck dynasty on social media I would…
11. I can name tons from when I was a teen (linda lovelace and John Holmes come to mind) and now my hubby loves Angelina Valentine and Sunny Leone enough that he has pictures of them for wallpaper. Not sure I would recognize them with their clothes off (yes these pictures are of them clothed)
12. I have no clue what he does when he watches porn without me unless he comes to bed and is ready for fun and games and I ask about it.
13. This is the one BIG issue I have with porn and how it can harm a relationship. If a partner (male or female) is using porn regularly to AVOID being intimate with their partner..there is a problem whether it be an addiction or habit or just an escape. PORN should never be in lieu of your relationship.
This is my take on addiction… we can be addicted to anything. Some folks have addictive personalities. I do. My drug of choice is food. I come from a long line of food addicts. When I had my gastric bypass surgery I was counseled to help avoid what we call TRANSFER addiction. When you transfer your addiction to food to something else… alcohol is common and so is sex and shopping.
Psychology today defines addiction as this: addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (gambling) that can be pleasurable but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work or relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.
The continued use becomes COMPULSIVE and it interferes with ordinary life responsibilities. This to me is the key. If watching porn is compulsive and you MUST do it.. and it interferes with your job, your friends, your family, your partner, then it’s an issue.
The items you list may or may not define a porn addiction but it does describe a selfish, inconsiderate partner.
And for me this is also key (again from Psychology Today) No matter which kind of addiction is being referred to, it is important to recognize that its cause is not simply a search for pleasure, and addiction has nothing to do with one's morality or strength of character. Experts debate whether addiction is a "disease" or a true mental illness, whether drug dependence and addiction mean the same thing, and many other aspects of addiction. Such debates are not likely to be resolved soon. But the lack of resolution does not preclude effective treatment.
ADDICTION is not simply a search for pleasure, and has nothing to do with ones morality or strength of character.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 March 2013):
 What's wrong with watching porn and not masturbating to it? Some have really well acted and developed plot lines.
LMAO!
Sounds more to me like you dated a real loser. Porn addiction seems to be a scapegoat for someone just being a dickhead. Face it, people who act like what you've described would be just as big an asshole even if they didn't watch porn. It's part of their personality.
Anyway, thank you for the article.
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A
male
reader, Been Through It +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Phew!, I am glad I am not a porn adict.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013): I looove porn but I also looove my gf. I don't know if I'm truly an addict, but I sure watch a lot of it.
I don't think any of these apply to me except maybe #11, LOL.
I think your list applies mainly to guys who are addicted to porn and also are assholes!
(And yes, my gf knows about my love of porn. In fact she thinks guys who don't like porn are weird.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): The list of items given may apply to anyone. If a guy is a porn addict, he isn't likely to keep a girlfriend. He doesn't have time and he's too selfish to lavish that much attention on someone in the flesh. Your list is judgmental and bitter. You should bail out immediately when too many red flags go up for ANY GUY exhibiting behavior that is likely to do you physical or emotional harm. Don't just focus on his sexual tendencies and habits. Does he drink too much, abuse drugs, does he have anger issues, is he possessive, is he prone to tantrums, is he verbally abusive, is he lazy, have bad hygiene? Why stick around long enough to determine if he's a porn addict? Chances are he'll dump you first. The same applies to women.
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A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (25 February 2013):
Pr3tty_in_pink86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBelieve it or not 1,2,3,4,6,7,9,11,12,13 have happened to me from one guy.
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A
female
reader, VenusFlowerBasket +, writes (25 February 2013):
They sound utterly dreadful!
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