A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met an army man in the dating site and now he's and Afghanistan and now we're talking for more then 2-1/2 months I like him so much and love him, and this's my first time a date someone from the Army, and also he told me that will be returned until 2014, but before that he asked me if I can be his PNOK and I never have idea what's that mean, well he explain that to me, to make this shorter he told me that I have to send an email after he send me a army address but the thing I didn't like it and see like not right to me is that I have to pay a little money for him to send back.Can anyone there can tell me how this works, and of course I say that I can't send any money. please! someone and tell me if he’s right or wrong. I'm totally confused
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013): Don't do it. PNOK should be a family member. And even if you were you shouldn't have to pay any money. This sounds like a scam.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Because of the size of my potantial estate, I have siblings and nieces and nephews and grands all clamoring over who will be my PNOK.....
One thing is for sure... I will NOT name that cute waitress where I take breakfast each day.... as she has access to put who-knows-what in my coffee......
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Just tell him you're not comfortable being his PNOK and see what happens. Sounds a bit strange to me after just 2 months.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013):
This is not a real person.
He is is possibly a scammer, google army romance scams, or nigerian love scam and you will understand.
Hopefully you have not sent any money AT ALL.
Next time at least try to CAM (skype or oovoo) with the person first. This is not impossible if he has a laptop, and almost all of them do, or he could borrow one if he WAS a real soldier.
So really, it is a scam. Second they ask for money run away.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 January 2013):
 You should not have to send money for this.
You have never met him in real life
you met on a dating site,
you probably will never meet him
do NOT send money!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 January 2013):
 It definitely sounds like a scam to me.
That's very sad. I am truly sorry if he has been trying to fool you. And I imagine that he is very very charming.
But you need to protect you.
Forget about online dating.
If you can improve your educational qualifications then concentrate on that in order to get a better job.
Then meet guys face to face and get to know them in person.
Online people can claim to be anyone. And sound every so charming, while they try to scam you.
Sad as it is, I think you need to block him and break contact.
PNOK usually denotes a relationship by marriage or blood.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): Have you ever met him in person and do you know for a fact he is a citizen of the US? How much money is he is asking for and has he told you why you have to send it?
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Hi
Read about it here
http://www.military.com/benefits/survivor-benefits/survivor-benefits-terms-and-definitions.html
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 PNOK means primary (or first) next of kin. I think 2 and 1/2 months after meeting him is too early to agree to be next of kin. What of his parents or siblings, maybe a grandparent should be listed as PNOK.
I don't understand why you are needing to pay some money, this does not make sense to me. It sounds like it might be some sort of scam.
I would ask him to explain better why you need to pay money, if you don't understand his answer, come back and put it here, under this question, and we will do our best to explain it for you.
Don't get too involved with this man yet, you are only in your early 20s, and he is going to be away for another 2 years, and you don't know him, because he is asking for money it could be a scam. Be careful.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 January 2013):
Hi
It means Primary Next Of Kin. In other words if anything should happen to him it would be you the army contacts,his next of kin.
You don't send money.
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire +, writes (3 January 2013):
 He wants you to be his primary next of kin, and there is a high possibility it could be a scam.
I suggest you take a look at this website - http://www.army.mod.uk/24211.aspx
It applys to the US aswell.
Drop contact.
x
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