A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Pleeeeease help me be stronger! Ive posted on here before, but the same problem is still about. I dumped someone in jan, stupidly i got manipulated into lending him a few thousand pounds beforehand, which my gran left me when she died, and i am trying to claim it back through small claims, and am still waiting to hear back from them. But my ex is trying to destroy me. He keeps playing mind games. Too many things to write in here. I cant stand him and life is great when we dont hear from him, apart from the fact i just want my money back, but every now n then he rears his ugly head again. I blocked his number, then miraculously he has a different number because of some elaborated reason! The strange thing is he seems to contact when i have pmt. I suffer badly from it, and he knows that. I'm certain now he has it written on the calender. He does things like txt that he might have some 'dosh' for me soon, as he puts it. So i try and be civil to him, getting into small talk, then he gets into txt conversations basically to wind me up, and i fall for it!!! Every single time! Within 2 days of me being civil he miraculously has his old number (contract) back again. He's laughing at me. How can someone be so twisted?Can someone please tell me how i manage to write the money off now, without me feeling angry about being turned over, and just block him off my phone again and never have to hear from him again, because i am seriously scared that he is going to tip me over the edge. And i have two children to think about..
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female
reader, Khandi  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 ok was not aware of the details of the previous posts, I have done some things that i am not to proud of myself the only thing i can say is stop accepting phone calls, text message and any type of uncessary contact with him. if you stop putting fule to the fire the fire will eventually go out. keep your foot down!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, As i said,i have already been granted the money by small claims. It went in my favour as at the time he admitted the charge. But its now down to me to enforce it. Which is what i am currently tryin to do. I will definately get a charge order on his house, but he wont sell that for years, and by then my money will be worth nothing.
I accept that its a control thing with him,and by txting to say he will have some money for me soon, is all a farce. What i really wanted advice on was how i go about forgetting about it, and getting to the point where i accept it was stupid, and move on.
This morning i txt him saying..
your life is so screwed at the moment that u enjoy winding me up. I wouldn't choose to have someone so dysfunctional as a mate, its hard trying to be civil. And for what? Hope that i get money back? Who cares now. Its not worth it. You've done me a favour, i couldn't afford to smoke so gave up. U prob saved my life. Court will sort it and what will be will be. Now you're blocked. 4 good this time. yay!!!
I will try posting this question again later to see if anyone else can help.
Thanks again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): OK, revised advice...Was it in cash or by cheque? You may at least be able to use the cheque as a proof for a tax credit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): Anon, hon, you made a mistake when you did not get a proper legal receipt for the money you gave him. It would obligate him to pay it back even if you were still married at the time. All I can say is, "live and learn". You can try to use legal means, but without the signatures, you are probably out of luck. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Khandi +, writes (3 July 2008):
Money can destroy a friendship never lend money that you know if you dont get it back will drive you crazy or will destroy a relationship. your best friend can be your worst enemy, your ex- has found a way to control you, he is controling you and sorry to say i dont think you are going to get your money back. only thing i can say is try to sue him, i dont know if where you live they have a court where you can sue someone, but her in the US we have small claims court where you can sue someone for up to $5000 US dollars. if you are going to led money to someone the best way to go is to get them to sign a letter ( promisary note) and if possible have it notarized with dates of payments or an explination (schedule)of when they are going to pay and how much with a date of when it is going be paid up keep atleast two copies of this promisary note so if you have to sue the person you have somethign to stand on. if they are not willing to sign and drw up the promisayr note that may be a hint that they are not going to pay you back, i have seen frinedships destroyed over $50 US Dollars. i mean knock down drag out fights! if you cant sue him for the money then take it as a loss and dont lend him or anyone else anymoney with out a promisary note. you would be surprised, it cn be someone you trust and have always a had reason to untill it is time to pay back or untill you disagree about something unrelated and end the friendship before the money is paid back. you know he cant be trusted stay awasy from him and for the sake of your sanity if you cant sue him for the money then take it as a loss and dont lend him or anyone else any(more) money with out a promisary note. I hope this was helpful
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