A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need help. I'm 15. I have a boyfriend. We've been through a lot together and have a lot of past together. we went out all summer and even went away together and then we broke up and now we're back together.. I really have felt like I've fallen in love with him.. I just feel so good with him. We get into a lot of fights though, over the littlest things but I don't care. but there's a problem.. I got high the other night (don't say anything about this I know it's wrong but it's my life..) and I saw my ex's face in my bf's face when I looked at him so I began to start missing him. I called him the next day and he text me later and we started talking. We just said how we missed talking and asked how each other has been and stuff like that.. then I got high last night too and he text me and then I text him saying a lot of stuff. I told him I missed him and I wanted him and love him. I know I get a little lovey when I'm high, but deep down inside these things may be true.. We also had a lot together in the past and I honestly do miss him but he lives in a different town and I barely ever got to see him but I still had really strong feelings for him.. and whenever I talk to him I just feel like they all come back and I feel bad about this.. cuz I have a boyfriend.. I just don't know what to do.. I mean I know it's not fair to my boyfriend cuz I'm feeling like this but I don't know what to do.. if me and my boyfriend broke up I know I would miss him and being with him and I couldn't see him with anybody else.. but I just miss being with my ex. What do I do? Should I tell my bf about all this and don't just say yes just because.. really think about it.. it's tough.. I just need some advice. please and thanks! xx
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Perhaps you should try talking to him in the Light of Day with no drugs or alcohol involved. Talk openly about your feelings and his. If you feel the same at this point without any substances altering your mood then you will be able to have better insight on what you really want.
It's true that sometimes when a person is high on drugs or heavily intoxicated they let out their innermost or true feelings about another person. They just can't seem to control everything they feel or say at this point. However it doesn't necessarily mean that they are being truthful. Sometimes they get feelings, actions, times and places, etc confused. They can get people confused too concerning the afore mentioned.
I hope that you will take a bit of advice to heart here. You said not to mention anything about your getting high, sorry to fill you in hon but YOU made your businss fairly public here by writing to this column. We are here to help you and from a objective point of view your being high may have prompted your feelings or his. People tend to act differently when under the influence of drugs,alcohol or both. Your feelings can really get mixed up and leave you in a real state of confusion which to lead to other things such as drug charges,underage drinking,being placed in a home or care of social services.
There are many other consequences that can evolve from doing these things such as pregnancy, being promiscious and overdosing and many others.I urge you to rethink what you are doing. If you find the right guy he may not accept your lifestyle and you could loose out on a really good guy. If you go back to the ex your present b/f could very well be hurt. Sometimes it's best to stay where you are until later and give yourself time to find out what you really want before acting on any decision. The choice is yours but if you aren't careful what you choose, you might loose both of the guys in the end.
Remember it's common to miss someone that you care about.This doesn't always mean that that are in love with you. It can simply mean that are fond of you and they have good memories and love for you but not the kind you need to make a relaionship work. Those memories will always be with them/you, but sometimes they aren't strong enough to carry you thru a real, loving and healthy relationship.
I suggest that you take your time in moving on because sometimes looking back can only confuse you more. SEEK GOD'S WILL.
God bless,
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