A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi im 17 and ive been seeing my bf for about a year. We did have a rough few months that we were apart and saw other people then we worked out our problems and got back together....anywho...he is very clingy i guess youd say, and he always texts me its odd when either of us will stop texting for more than an hour. The last few days its seemed like hes ignoring me or something...he'll just stop texting me then claim to be doing someething...when i broke up with him for those few months this was a main reason i couldnt take him just stopping like that then claiming to be doing something...well last night i was hanging out with a friend and i dropped her off and before i had to head home i stopped by to see him for a minute to give him a kiss etc...he was acting normal but a little too normal if that makes sense. When i starting driving home about half way home i got a text from him saying "love you"...hes been saying that a lot lately and it bothers me. He use to say i love you now its just love you like he doesnt care...and i asked if he was ok...he said he was just stressed when i asked about what he said family. All night he was being vague and pushing me out, hes never done that, he and i are very close to one another and tell each other everything...he eventually stopped texting around 12 so i just said ill let you go to bed. i woke up at around 3 extremelly sick and throwing up hed left a message around 2 saying sorry and he was just laying down...i tried talking to him when i was done throwing up and he was being vague again and said his phone died and all this crap that i know isnt true (when his phone dies my texts wont go through and they were...)This morning hes being vague and pushing me out, its like he doesnt even want to talk to me, hes never done this before, hes always open with me and tells me everything....what could be happeneing????? does anyone have any advice???? im so confused..i promise this is out of character for him....idk what to do
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MT19  +, writes (4 January 2009):
First of all take a deep breath if you try talking to him when your panicked and upset all you will do is see negative in whatever he says and probably cause an argument. Take some time to calm down then tell him calmly but firmly that 'you know something is wrong, he can talk to you about it whenever he is ready.' The and this is the key thing leave him alone to give him that time.
I used to constantly be in this situation with my other half when we first got together untill eventually he sat me down one day and explained that it was not that he didn't want to tell me things, it was simply that sometimes he just did not have the words to express properly what the problem was or how it made him feel. So i started to give him time i would always reassure him that i was there if he wanted to talk, but stopped pressuring him to tell me there and then. The result was amazing given the time to organise his thoughts and think about how he wanted to explain things he began to open up more and more. One of the essential differences between men & women is that women draw strength from there emotions where as men sometimes find them hard to handle.
Give him a chance you might be surprised!!
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