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Please help me endure my first breakup at 37 years old!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 January 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 January 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, *ardia writes:

Just ended my 1st relationship ever. We started when I was 35. He was 22. We fit eachother perfectly as we were both awkward lonely people. We understood each so well about so much. However, I ran hot, he ran cold. I blew some things out of proportion and wonder if I should've just blown off this last weekend's issues. He was too reluctant to commit fully enough to give me the security I guess I needed. I doubted too much. He didn't give enough of himself that I could read. I apologized for my part. He tried to make the effort in the relationship but I was just emotionally drained from chasing him all year. He just was too young, not ready for the next step. I gave him outs along the way. He just needed my friendship and love too much to let go.

I love him to my core. He loves me, there's just too much against us. We've agreed to text, email or call occasionally. We can't Facebook because I can't bear to see what he's up to with other people. I want his arms around me. I want him to hold me in his bed. But it's over. I know healing comes with time. But please give me encouragement and hope for moving on. This never should have happened.

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A female reader, bardia United States +, writes (7 January 2012):

bardia is verified as being by the original poster of the question

bardia agony auntWe were together about 15 months. I know it's not long for some, but it was a lifetime of experiences for me. We both relied on each other. He was just as needy as I was, in his own way. We spent 4 nights together a week. I never thought I'd be "living with" him like that. It just happened naturally & we were so very comfortable together. We reminded me of my parents relationship. It was good. The timing just wasn't right.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (7 January 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntI think you were relying to much on him in this relationship, which is not good. It was your first experience which I understand but you need to find an inbetween no guy is ever going to like a girl who is to much in to them and he just didn't give you what you needed. Yes maybe he was much to young for such a commitment. So I guess yes you do need time to get over this and to learn from it and to put it down as an experience. You do not need me to tell you that it gets easier in time, because you know that to be true. It is time to get on with your life now and move forward. It obviously didn't work so put yourself back out there and find someone who is more suitable to you.

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