A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok here goes..me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months.when i first met him, i think we rushed into the relationship a bit soon because i had only just come out of a long term relationship myself.but he was too good to let slip so i started seeing him straight away.i like dim from the start, but beacause i wasn't completely over my ex, i went on holiday ansd slept with somebody else. its not something that i would usually do, but i think i needed it for closure of my ex, and also to show myself that i genuinley liked my current boyfriend and he wasnt just a rebound.When i got back from holiday we got into a proper relationship, and we spent the whole summer in spain together. we had such an amazing time together and really fell in love (i love him more than i loved my ex boyfriend.)we are both at university in the same city, but our real homes are quite a way away.so the last few weeks of summer we missed each other so much and saw eachother at weekends but were so excited about when we went back to university and saw eachother evryday.however, we have been back for about 2 months now and it is far from what we expected. he found out about me sleeping with the guy 6 months ago, and now he doesn't trust me. i am very insecure anyway and find it really had to trust him.but its such a shame because we have SO much love for eachother. when it is just th two of us we feel so in love, and like we wnat to be together forvever.but on a daily basis, we argue about silly things everyday!we get jealous of ecahothers ex's, and its really starting to destroy what we belive could be an amzing relationship.we both want it to work more than anything in the world but we cant go a day without arguing at the moment. we went away for the weekend last weekend and we were back to our perfect selves-you couldnt find a better couple. but as soon as monday came, we were bickering and jealous again.please help!!!do you think its too late to save us???we are so in love, and i know that i never want to be with any other guy!but surely we shouldn't be arguing this much after only 7 month???me and my ex didnt argue this much..but then i didnt love him this much either!!!help :0)thankyou x x xx x
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fell in love, insecure, jealous, my ex, on holiday, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lopikult  +, writes (31 October 2008):
individual councilling and no more talking about the ex-s if he mentions it let him drop and tell him you have no idea what he's talking about, you're in a relationship with HIM and if he wants to talk to your ex he's going to have to figure that one out on his on then continue your life with him business as usual consistency will show him you love him plus maybe get engaged at some point?
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (31 October 2008):
 Hmmm tricky. I think you need a few days apart, explain to him that you both need some time to think and then you should get together and talk about everything that has happened. Be honest with each other, and try and talk things through.
You get jealous because you care for each other, but a jealous relationship rarely works, you need to trust the person your with otherwise it is going to drive you mad, and cause more arguments than it is already.
Think how you would feel if you found that out about him, try and explain what you have said here and maybe he will understand.
Or if you think you can show him what you have written on here, it's the easiest way to tell him how you feel. Try and work on it.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (31 October 2008):
hiyah i get that your insecure but you should have started your realtionship off on trust and been honest with him.
it always comes back to haunt you and sometimes we learn that the hard way all you can do is learn from it. you seem a strong coupple so pull through this with the help of each other. if there really is that much true love there then it shouldne be a problem. no relationship has an easy going ride theres always bumps along the way that were unplanned and you have to deal with it, soetimes it can brek what you have and other times it makes you that extra bit stronger.
you love him a lot so i dont think you should let it go without a fight. all couples argue and its normal to be jelaous/insecure of exs but it shouldnt be your main arguning topic whats in the past should stay there and you shouldnt let each others past relationship get in the way of what you have, it will eat away at your future.
you love him soo much so make it work, if you want something so bad you put all you have into it then you will eventually get there. with the support of each other, try and build up that trust back cuz you really dont want to loose that. best of luck xx
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A
female
reader, ashleym626 +, writes (31 October 2008):
Y'all are arguing so much because neither of the two of you will give in or be the so called bigger person. The only thing that will make him really trust you again is be very assuring too him and let time pass without any mistakes happening which shouldn't be hard if you love him. You need to just try to not think negatively and when you find yourself talking or thinking about a subject you know is going to set you off, change your thought. Try to end arguments before they get worse and try not to think of his past as much. It is definitely a hard thing to do but it's hard work to keep a good relationship and keeping eachother in love. It's about sacrificing for each other and putting the other persons feeling as high as your own.
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