A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: me and my fiance and had a baby 1 year ago and since then i havent wanted to have sex or do anything sexual at all! i can count the amount of times we have slept together on 1 hand! my partner was understanding at first but now i can see hes starting to get impatient and im running out of excuses! i dont want it to be like this i want our sex life to be back to how it used to be, its not coz im tired from looking after a baby i just dont want to and i dont know why! should i go to my doctor about this as i cant see me changing how i feel at all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): Whatever you do try and realise the pain you are probably putting your partner through. Just because he is being patient doesn't mean he is finding it easy.
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (31 October 2008):
I can only say what I would do.
I know it's hard with a small baby, but sex is important in a relationship, he needs to know you still find him sexy and attractive.
Explain to him that you know you haven't been intersted in sex, and it isn't anything to do with not loving him anymore. say you would like to go to the doctors to see if they can help, and would he go with you, that way he will know that your trying.
Ask him if you can have a massage or offer to give him one, maybe play with each other a little, you never know what might happen if you relax.
Take your time though, don't be pushed into any thing, he won't explode with out it!
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 October 2008):
Yeah, I'd go to the doctor. There are medications to help jump start your libido. Sexual intimatcy is a very vital part of a healthy relationship. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): Sex is very important for a man, though it is important too for women it is doubly so for the man.Marriages break down a lot of the times due to reasons of sex. Consider this quite seriously, men do have strong unconrtollable libidos as testosterone levels are through the roof compared to women, even if you might find it comfortable not having sex your husband won't.Think carefully.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (31 October 2008):
If you're comfortable with not having sex, then it isn't a bad thing. But you need to tell your husband that it is exactly that - that you just don't want it and don't find it at all necessary. It is then his choice to make what happens within the relationship.
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