A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is going to take a real open minded person or professional cuz this is a very different kind of relationship with a very different kind of man. Ok I met and married who I believed was the love of my life. Life and love was great for 6months. Things were going down hill. Both of us being set in our own ways. He had always been a kind a player, me well I was never satisfied totally. We broke up, he moved out, wanted to come back, I said no. Honestly looking back I was really hard of him. Anyways, about a year later, we started talking again. He moved in with someone else a year after us. We have been hanging out every day almost for the last two years now. I consider him my best friend and I his. We do not kiss or have a physical relationship. But now, I am the first woman he actually likes and wants to spend time with. I take him for who he is and he takes me for who i am. I still have strong feelings for him but I know we cannot be together full time, he would drive me nuts. I would have never guessed this would happen to us. He says he is not in love with the woman he is with but its ok and somewhat comfortable. His kids live with him still. He doesnt want to rock the boat. Well knowing him, he was probably hot and heavy with her too in the beginning but I know he most likely burnt out on her along time ago too. i guess my question is, what the heck are we doing? Could it be that he actually really does love me now, maybe the first woman ever that he actually respects?? Is there anything really wrong with what we are doing?? I am trying to date, I think he is trying to be ok with it. I think he is just afraid of loosing me, actually he has said that. I trust and like him better now too, Maybe we met and married too quickly before.
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best friend, broke up, moved in, moved out, player Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): I think that he wants to bewith you but he likes the family side of things to and is afraid that it'll be ripped away from him. I do think he genuinely likes you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): I think you are both people who are afraid of commitments. You just cannot be happy when you are in a commited relationship. Anything outside a commitment is exciting for you that's why you are so confused. Get together again and you'll be back to your little hell. Is a vicious cycle. Read a self help book on Fear of Commitment. Like: "Men who can't love". Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_of_commitmentTo answer your question: What are we doing? Running away from commitment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): Okay, so how I see it... he is cheating on the woman he is living with. Now if he was so unhappy and was so crazy about you and wanted to be with you he would leave her to be with you.
I dont understand how he can be afraid of losing you, when in fact he is living with someone else??????
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for such a quick response on my question. I am a bit confused on something you said. You said if I was unhappy leave him... But....... How can I leave him when we are not really together. Like I said we have become best friends. He is still living with the other woman. It was always his pattern to love live and then move on. I am the only woman he is still around after 6 yrs. He lives with her but they do nothing together.. I really love him as a friend but I hated him as a husband as I am pretty sure she does. I almost feel bad for her cuz I remember how it was. It is so hard to describe, we are nothing I have ever known about. LOL
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