A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a wonderful girl and im such in love with her, but everything happened very fast and im a little bit skceptical.I met her a year ago but we didnt go out until last month, we spent a whole month together but now she is back to her country. I live in New York and she is from England.She says she is in love with me and we are official, she is very sweet, well, sometimes. the thing is that she says she wants to continue in this ldr but she is a little bit cold. Is such a great deal for her to say i miss you or i love you. (in phsically she is super sweet and affectionate but she doesnt express her emotions verbally...)I will be travelling back and forth to London on a monthly basis just to see her.so far i have sent her flowers, i call her everyday, i txt her often to wish her to have a great day but she has never called me or txt me, it has been one way direction. My heart tells me she is the one and this is real, but my mind tells me she should put a little bit more effort for this to work out.please help, somebody tell me if its worth it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for having the time to give me some good advice, i really needed it!
my gf and i had a little chat and before asking her why her lack of interest she asked me why i never reply to her txt messages, apparently she had been sending them to a wrong number, that why i never did get any of them. ;-) Now everything is fine, we txt all the time, the last few day she has changed a lot, she is super sweet and im very happy. she will be travelling too to see me. Thanks again for your advice. wish me luck and my best wishes to all of you.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 Be careful that she is not just using you for money here, she doesn't seem to be showing much love to you, you are the one doing all the running and covering all the expenses. I am sure you don't mind doing that but at the same time I am scared that she may be taking advantage of your good nature and would hate to see you get used and hurt. Talk to her about how you feel and see what she has to say.
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (13 July 2012):
 Well its nice your kind enough to sponsor and also pay her tuition fees,but I don't want you to be a 'sugar daddy' to her otherwise she will depend on you too much and expect you to do everything..well if she's moving to your place and then you provide her a place to stay I can understand but paying her college,tuition and everything??ummm I don't knw I think its a little much..don't spoil her that much..
Anywys whatever you chose be wise:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to add some details, we have spoken many times about our feelings and how we picture ourselves in the future. I was clear i wont move to england as my business is doing well here and i dont have anything to do there, I have a business now and its been long ago i finished college. So i asked her if she would consider to move to the USA if everything works out after a year. she said she would. so I would sponsor her, and she can enroll at college here, i would even help with the tuition costs. So as per our conversations seems like we are on the same page. Everytime we are at the phone we chat for hours and she ask me to not to hang up until she is asleep, We are gonna meet in miami next month for holidays but i will be the one who covers all the expenses. I mean i dont care, i just wish she was a little more expressive or show a little bit more of interest.
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (12 July 2012):
I have seen this happen a lot of times..where the guy makes all the effort and the girl responds back but never initiates..
I think the reason this keeps happening is because sometimes guys just don't give the girl a chance to miss them,when your constantly texting and calling someone they take you for granted and expect you to do that all the time and would never take an initiate..
Take a step back,let her call you,let her want you..I'm not saying hide your feelings but don't hover around her soo much that she doesn't get a chance to miss you..
Or you can just call or text and say'hey you know sometimes I just wonder why am I the only one calling you,I know I love you me as well but make me feel special sometimes'..so she'l get the hint and make an effort if she wants this LDR to work..!
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 July 2012):
I think you are right, it takes two people to make a relationship work so she should be making more off an effort, you are doing all the calling and you say you will be the one travelling over to England to see her. A month is not a long time to be together, and yes I am sure you both had a wonderful time, but it is time to start being realistic, can you see a future with this girl? You would both need to discuss how this relationship is going to work, also if you are planning on being together then it would mean one of you having to relocate, have you both discussed this at all? Also visa's can be hard to come by, there are quite a lot of things standing in your way long term, yet looking at short time it does not look good as she does not contact you, she finds it hard to express how she feels, this is no doubt probably because she is back home now and she can see how long distance will be difficult. You both need to talk about this properly and see where this relationship is heading, it takes a lot of hard work on both sides to make long distance work.
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A
female
reader, IamJess  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Long distance relationships are always going to be hard, and its a two person thing, you can't be putting all the work in and she's not putting any in or not getting in contact, its worse when you live so far apart, because its like a cut off, and not going anywhere.
Ask her if she really thinks and wants this to work, it seems like you really want it to work and believe it can, but she's got to want it to aswell.
Hope everything goes well.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (12 July 2012):
It depends, you should at least talk to her, ask her why she doesn't do the things you do. I think it is your heart that is telling you she isn't putting out much effort but your mind is telling you this is the one.
Yeah things happened so fast but it has been a year like you said. You should speak to her about these things and see what she says from there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): The problem I see here is that you are calling her everyday, so she really isn't getting a chance to be the one to call is she? If your always calling her then she doesn't need to call you because she has already spoken to you, and has already had a conversation with you. Give her a chance to be the one to call you, so make your calls every second day or so, she can't be the one to make a move when your already making them all.
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