A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had been going out with B right after I broke off with my ex on Feb.Thing started to be complicated and confuse because the only reason he want to be with me is because he is lonely and we both need someone to comfort at the moment.He is 31 years old and never had a girl friend before.While I'm 26 and had had 2 bad experiences.He is my colleague so we had known each other for 2 years since I started to work in this company.He is a very weird guy because he don't know how to communicated with woman and others.He had been alone all the while even though he is happy or unhappy. He never think or consider to have someone to share his life.He is a slave to his work.He is ambitious guy.He want to gain back what had been taken away from him when he is 10years old when his family suffered from bankruptcy.One month ago I thought that thing will be getting smoother since he started to open up his heart to me and we know each other more.We are always happy to be together.He said he will think of me all of the time.Wondering how I'm doing...happy?sad?bored?I started to develope this special feeling for him(so called Love).Thing started to get worse when someone from Match.com call.I treat the guy as a normal guy friend only.He found out and get very angry and jealous.We had several heart to heart talk just to clear all of the misunderstandings.Finally I learned the very shocking and cruel truth.The truth is he is not in love with me like I did.He said he like to spend time with me, he appreciates each and every moments that we had spent together but he needs a wife that can support him financially with his ambitious dream and luxurious lifestyle.He is graduated with Master Degree in Electronic Engineering while I'm still undergraduate and it'll take me another 4-5 years for my degree.I never demand or ask anything from B because I don't want to pressure him emotionally.He will need time to accustom himself to have someone in his life.I feel hurt..really hurt when he said that he won't choose to be with me because he claimed that I won't be able to support him financially.i still in love with him and I keep on reminding myself that doesn't matter whether we love each other or vice versa eventually he will leave me.He feels jealous every time when a guy approach me because he afraid that I might been taken away by others the time when he realized that he couldn't get other woman who is more suitable for him than me.Please give me some valuable advices on how to forget him.
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ambition, bankrupt, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Oh Hun, I am sorry. It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. You can't sleep with someone and be jealous of them and then turn around and tell them that you don't love them and have no intention of marrying them. You do realize that he is using you for sex, right? I would stop sleeping with him immediately and talking with him too! It may seem that he cared about your feelings, but it sounded like he was going along to get along, like he started doing the whole thing in order to keep you sleeping with him. He has some serious issues and although ambition isn't a bad quality in a man, if it comes at the expense of his humanity and social skills, that's not a great guy at all. I am assuming that English is your second language, and I am hoping that he isn't using you because he wouldn't marry outside his race or culture, but just use you for sex. If THAT'S the answer, he's a total schmuck and write-off. I hope for your sake that I am wrong. You deserve a better man Sweetness.
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