A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:would a successful older male ever be interested in a not-so-successful younger female?? we get on great, but its in his nature to be so friendly and pleasant. i only know him through work. he's ten yrs older, is divorced and has children. what do u suggest i do? he doesn't know how i feel, and i have absolutely no idea if he would ever consider me as a partner??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): You say he is more successful than you and you know him from work? If he's your boss forget it. If you're his subordinate at work you will be his subordinate at home also. Otherwise, if he works in a different department or isn't above you on the food chain, then yes, you can be his partner. Youth is just as much an asset as power, wealth, and intellect. You can leverage your youth to attract a powerful and successful older male. br br
Just remember this: You are not going to be young forever. If you want a permanent and stable relationship you will have to develop some other assets as you age to keep you even with his success or you might find yourself divorced at 35 with nothing to bring to the table in any future relationship. In fact, I bet that's exactly what happened to wife #1.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 June 2010):
 I guess what I am about to write is not what you want to hear. You don't sound terribly self confident. I think you need to work on those issues before you start trying to get into a relationship with a 'successful' (whatever that means these days) person. You seem to admire him as well as fancy him. I think it would help if you saw yourself as his equal so he wouldn't have all the power in a relationship. He is ten years older and therefore you could reasonably expect him to have achieved more than you in that decade. I also think that you need to take extreme care if this man is in a position of managerial authority over you. I think you need to think through the long-term consequences of having to work with someone who you have dated. This would be a real problem if you dated him and it didn't work out, but you still had to work for him. I am not saying the relationship is doomed or anything, but just take care and don't let your heart run away with your head over this man.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 June 2010):
He might, he might not. So keep getting to know him and see where it leads. You want him, do a bit of chasing around.
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