A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey Everyone.So I really just need som advice on how to get a boy off of my mind. I made the huge mistake of becoming friends with a boy who is a complete player and will try to convince girl into doing things that they arnt ready for. I was one of those girls, We did NOT have sex, but we did go farther then I would like to at this age. I'm not getting into detail of what we did because I dont want replies telling me in to younge for this, I know I am and its something Im dealing with. I just feel like I cannot tell any of my friends about this, they'd just judge me (plus they all hate the guy). but heres the thing, hes so sweet and you'd think he'd make the perfect boyfriend, Ive never had a boy treat me the way he does. I've fallen hard for him. But I dont want to. I think about him all the time and he always asks me to come over to his place and I try to say so or make exuses but its really hard, usually I give in and I just really need advice on how to get him out of my head? Or to get over him?Sorry, that was kind of long but I want you to see the whole situation and give advice I can use.*note: I do not want replies telling me im immature and what I've done wrong. I know already, and its hard enough for me to deal with. Thaanks (:Please reply. I need someone to talk to.
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male
reader, wisernow +, writes (19 August 2010):
Your friends have identified this guy as a loser... a player.... and you already know this.
Some guys will say or do anything to get a girl into bed... and once the girl gives in he will be already shopping for his next conquest.
So how do you get iover this sweet talking womanizer? Start by refusing him... l know its impossible at this stage to forget him .... so just refuse his sexual advances. In a short time his calls will stop coming. He will move on..... and you will be forced to do the same.
Infatuating is a powerful feeling and one that's hard to walk away from. So listen to your brain and not your heart my dear. Let him be the one to end the relationship.
l know... l was a player in my younger days. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): Hmm sounds exactly like a guy at my school, I fell hard for the bad boy, realized some of the things he was saying, implying, slapped myself and went on with my life.Spend a lot of time with close female friends (don't talk about him necessarily, just hang out have fun), they can help you a lot.Watch a movie, just distract yourself, keep an open mind and in time another, better guy will fill the void and feelings this bad boy left you with.If you want it over with him make it expressively clear that you're not a doll, you're not going to sit there and submit to him, your a person and you want treated like an equal and a friend, if he's still acting suggestively stop contact with him, if he still doesn't get the picture threaten to get a restraining order, actually get a restraining order. Never let him think he has a hold on you, you are your own person and you will defend yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): You are just making the same mistake that most girls at your age make. They think they can be friends with, hang out with, flirt with a player. But not get attached, not eventually have sex with him, and not get hurt. Sorry but that wont work. (And the player knows you cant hold off forever, thats why he does it.)
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A
male
reader, Duckiies +, writes (18 August 2010):
 When I was the that boys age I was too a player(hate to admit it). I agree with dirtbalL, that kid is trying to everything he can to get to sleep with him. Don't be fool of hes sweet talk and hes cockiness. Just turn him down as many times as he ask. Soon or later he will give up and more on
Its easy to get someone out of your head, just do the things you normally do or even focus onto someone else.
duckkiie
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 August 2010):
 *note, telling people how not to reply isn't really how asking advice works.
Don't worry about your concerns though, I think you've handled yourself pretty well so far. You found yourself in a situation you weren't comfortable with and ended it. That's a very good sign.
He's a player, and he's using the tricks of the trade so to speak. He'll say anything to get into your pants, that's how his game works. Just because he says something, doesn't mean he means it though. Your best bet is to cut all communication with him. He isn't worth your time. Turn him down a few more times and he's likely to move onto someone else. Right now, because you keep giving into his advances, his game is working. Don't let it work anymore. Say no.
As far as getting him out of your head. I'd suggest spending time with your friends. Hang out, do whatever it is that kids your age do, and enjoy your youth.
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