A
female
age
30-35,
*ulie Bekermen
writes:i had sex first time before one year, in a day about 3 times and i lost my virginity , i bled a medium... and want to know that if i will sex after two years.. should i bleed again or not? and what should i do to bleed again?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 April 2017):
 Not all girls bleed after losing their virginity, so am not sure why your society feels like that. Unless of course your husband to be is going to be rough with you then he will never truly know if you are a virgin or not if you don't tell him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 March 2017):
 Your hymen has nothing to do with the bleeding. And no, after having had sex 3 times your hymen is probably not there no more (and it might not have been there when you HAD sex).
While we have been taught by society that virgin = bleeding the first time - biologically it's bullcrap.
The hymen is a thin thin flap of skin near the opening of the vagina, it SERVERS no purpose biologically. And it doesn't contain enough blood vessels (if any) to make someone bleed the first time.
I'm sorry your culture values a skin flap more than the whole person.
You chose to have sex a year ago which means you are no longer a virgin. That is just a fact. It doesn't mean you are now damaged goods or not good enough to marry. Maybe when it comes to finding a husband you need to look for someone who will love and value YOU for you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 March 2017):
 No, you won't bleed again ( unless he is super rough or he scraches you accidentally ). After having had intercourse 3 times, resulting in " medium bleeding "- most probably your hymen is gone.
I think you have two options : the moral one : i.e. tell him before the wedding that you lost your virginity. In this day and age ,... it won't come as a total shock to him, even if your culture frowns upon premarital sex. And it's not as if you had a promiscuous past . You made ONE mistake ( if such you consider it ) and if he loves you, or at least if he wants to make a family with you, he should be able to forgive .
Then, there's the not so moral, not politically correct advice : keep your cool and feign indifference. Pretend that nothing is wrong and you don't know what he is talking about. You did not bleed ? So what ? Contrariously to popular belief, there's a lot of women who do not bleed the first time ! Some have ruptured their hymen due to sport practice or accidents, many have got a so called " complacent " hymen ( very elasric, yields to pressure without fraying ), some are even born without a hymen. Now I do not remember the percentage of non-bleeding deflorations, but you can check it on line and you'll see it is quite high, I think 30 % or more.
This is an information so widely available on medical websites and medical textbooks ( as opposed to the old wives' tale about plenty of pain and plenty of blood being mandatory the first time ) that you could even keep your cool AND laugh in his face for his lack of knowledge.
BUT- I really don't like giving dishonest, manipulative advice. The poor guy may be old fashioned, sexist, and machoist , etc... still he does not deserve to be deceived. If he has certain expectations about you, which you do not conform to, he should know and be able to make an informed decision.
If he had , say , an sexually transmitted disease, you would not like him telling you AFTER he married you and not before, right ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2017): I dont know whether my hymen is damaged or not? but i bled a medium like first day oh medium .. due to so much pain...but am worried about there are chances to bleed again? or anything which help me to bleed again..bcs i know . i made a big mistake. but now am worried about bleeding, because in our society.. if a girl after marriage and first intercourse with husband cant bleed then she supposed to be non-virgin or characterless.. :(
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2017):
 You're not supposed to bleed when you have sex. The reason you bleed is because you're not lubricated/not prepared for sex. So you are not relaxed and you damage your skin which is why you bleed. Like when you stumble on your feet and hit your knee on the ground, you also bleed... It's a very simple fact of when you have friction and your skin is not designed to take this much friction.
Any woman who has intercourse without lubrication will bleed. It has nothing to do with virginity.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 March 2017):
http://www.yourtango.com/201172815/7-things-you-didnt-know-about-hymen
Read that article - it explains it all to you.
But yes, you CAN bleed again if you aren't lubricated enough if your partner isn't gentle or uses a finger inside you and his nails scratch you.
Is it normal to bleed, not really. It's not hard to prevent. Be sufficiently turned on (wet) can help prevent it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (25 March 2017):
 To answer your actual question, it is unlikely you will bleed again - unless the man is very rough with you.
Virginity is not something you can have over and over again. By definition, once it has gone, it has gone, although there are (I believe) medical procedures these days to restore the hymen but that is still not technically restoring your virginity if you have had sex. It is just restoring your hymen.
I assume you are asking this question because you want someone to believe you are still a virgin? If this is important to HIM (as opposed to YOU), then you need to ask yourself whether you can keep up this pretence for the duration of your relationship (if you stay together, then for years and even a lifetime).
Not all women bleed the first time they have sex. Depending on their hobbies, many may have broken/stretched their hymen already (accidents bike riding, horse riding, etc). A lack of blood does not, therefore, necessarily mean a woman is not a virgin.
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