A
female
age
36-40,
*upreeya
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. I've recently graduated and moved to another city. I know he loves me but We are constantly arguing, I think the distance is mostly to blame.But at the same time, whenever we fall out I feel as though I'm the only one making an effort to resolve things. We are both stubborn, but sometimes i wonder if we would be together at all if it wasnt for me always being the one to try and fix things.A lot of the time its a struggle to get him to communicate with me properly, we never had this problem when we saw each other every day. So now I have decided its the last time, i havent contacted him in 3 days and i dont intend to, until he contacts me so we can talk about our relationship.The last thing i sent him, after yet another argument was that i loved him so much, and he replied 'and i you' but what if he doesnt contact me? how long will i have to wait? shall i try and move on until i hear back from him?I know im putting myself through this but i need him to take some responsibility for maintaining our relationship. Please Advise.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Supreeya +, writes (4 September 2010):
Supreeya is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks caring guy, good advice indeed
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 September 2010):
Relationships have interesting tests sometimes that indicate whether they will work or not. Sometimes people have a great relationship until they move in together. Sometimes, time apart and distance can severely damage a relationship.
It does sound like this relationship is just about over. When only one partner makes an effort to make amends, then it's clear the other isn't as interested. And another big clue here is that when you said 'I love you', all he responded with was 'and I you', which is a pretty cold reply even for a man. To top it off, he's not bothered with you for three days.
To me, it sounds like your relationship is over. I think you do truly care for this guy. I'm not so sure how he feels for you. There seems to be so little from him.
You're right to make him take some responsibility. He needs to make a show for you here. I'd usually work on the 3 day rule, then the 5 day, then the fourteen day. You've given him 3 so far. I think you can afford to give him 11 more. That way you've given him two weeks. If, after that he's not made a show, then call him and tell him it's over.
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