A
female
age
26-29,
*eresosita96
writes: Im 13 year old and im planning to loose my virginity to a 16 year old soon !Dont know what to do! I love him but i got doubts im scared he'll leave me or change towards me , i honestly am confused , his never offered for sex but i feel like i am ready and well he is not a virgin obiously' Im also scared there would be rumours of me and people will start thinking im a sket! Im scared of it hurting, im scared of getting pregnant even if i use a condom!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Just to say its not love. just a learning curve, when you are older you will understand.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Hon, I'm just going to be honest with you. If you are scare or have any doubts whatsoever, then you're not ready. It's okay to not be ready. Be smart in the decision you make. People always say, your conscious is trying to talk to you.
Sex doesn't always equal to love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): STAY A VRIGIN TILL UR ABOUT 21 and then u'l see whether u want the current one or not, as u tend to change as a person as u grow older and become more wiser!
esp a guy who's 16 is only thinkin bout gettin laid! and u will most definately loook like a sket esp people of ur own age!
All the best!
VIRGIN ALL THE WAY!
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 My angel, please stay a virgin till you are legal,for now you are still very young. You dont wanna be a parent at this young age.do you know of STI's? After all loosing your virginity Hurts! Talk to your mom before you do it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): i think it's good that you're thinking about all of these things, but i also think the fact that you can think of so many worries means that you probably aren't ready to take such a big step in your relationship. If you're having those worries it's probably for a reason... I'd definitely wait if I were you as you're still so young,and if this boy is the one for you he won't have a problem with waiting either, and you'll be so much more mature and prepared when the time finally comes.
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A
female
reader, Shini  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 I your worried about all these things then it's probably smarter to wait until your body has matured. Don't forget it is possible to get pregnant with a condom but allot less likely than with out so make him wear one if you do. Ones you've hit you're late teens people wont spread rumours because it's most likely that they have also done it. How long have you two been together? Some people will say you'll regret it and that's because you probably will. Some people say it will hurt others might say it didn't effect them but none of that's important because your body will react differently to there's. We are all unique so there's really no way of telling what will happen. It's good that he hasn't been pressuring you though. Don't feel like your obligated to fulfill his needs either just because he's "experienced" it is completely up to you.
I had similar temptations when I was your age thinking I was IN love with him but it was clear that when he dumped me because I wouldn't put out that that's all he really wanted. You'll probably think "no because hes different!" But that's exactly what I thought.
Choose wisely. If you need any further help or just want to talk you can pm me. x
Good luck. :3
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A
female
reader, LostInMyself  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Hello! I could not help but notice you are Colombian! Well, as Colombian descent myself I would like to advise you that you should go or call to the nearest ProFamilia available, Profamilia is a planned parenthood free clinic, they are EXTREMELY helpful regardless of age, and they keep all info confidential. Everything is free, and a counselor there will help you privately and explain to you the risks and what can you do to protect yourself or give you expert inforamtion on your questions. They offer a lot of information and advice, as well as STD prevention and stuff of the sort, they do no encourage you to be intimate at such as young age, but if you go there I'm sure they would provide you with info and help at no cost at all.
I know this for a fact because when I was around 15 I had to do a research paper on STDs and prevention, so we went there to get info, they are very helpful, they offer flyers, seminars,books, videos,free consultations, expert advice, psychological advice...you name it!
They dont encourage underage sex, but they are aware that people will do it anyway so they help people of all ages stay safe, know what they are getting into and prevent pregnancies and STDs. If you CAN'T go I recommend you google for ProFamilias' phone number online and call them and say you have questions. They will direct your call to an advisor who is qualified about these topics, and you can ask him and tell him that you are scared,the question about hurting and all of these things... they are not judgmental at all and very well informed and they will clear many if not all of your doubts, the phone is confidential so dont worry :)
I would not encourage you to have sex so young, because your body is not ready for it and your mind is not either. I do not think you are easy or anything like that, but please consider the consequences of sex... If you are thinking that he might leave you or change towards you then I don't think he really loves you and at 16 relationships come and go and they are not very serious. Keep in mind that even at 16 boys are EXTREMELY immature..and if he is in your classroom or in your group of friends, but if he is the kind of person that tells these things then he may tell a friend of what happened..or not I dont know him to judge that, only you know him, and if you think he is going to tell someone and rumors will spread, then he may not really care about you so much... think of what makes you comfortable, do you think that after doing this with him are you going to feel okay with it? Also, no method is 100% safe so you are risking becoming pregnant or getting an STD, which WILL affect your future. Please think about it... Believe me you have plenty of time to have sex, and the older you get the more mature and ready you are to enjoy it, and it will be more pleasurable.
Even though I advise you to wait and see if this is what you really want or if you are really ready or if this guy is really what you think he is. Whatever decision you make, because it is a personal choice, please take care of your body and your mind, and be fully aware of the consequences, also inform yourself about staying safe. If he is pressuring you to have sex and changes because you don't then he really does not care about you and he is not worth it.
Whatever you do please stay safe, get information, and do just what you feel comfortable with, please think things over before doing it, never give in to pressure.
Good luck, feel free to message me if you have any questions either on Spanish or English!
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A
female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (6 January 2011):
 If you have doubts your not ready. Also... your 13! Thats ridiculously young, and quite possibly illegal (he could be done for rape, although im not 100% sure of the laws in your country.)
Guys are likely to boast, so rumours may go around. If you do do it PLEASE use a condom and get on the pill.
But I seriously advise you to wait a few years, enjoy your childhood! Seriously it goes fast.
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