A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid. I have bin with my boyfirend for 15 months and love him more and more each day. I am 14 and he is 16. we do yes have a sexual relationship however we have'nt had sex because we have not yet felt that we are ready. Over the course of our relationship we have taken things slowly and now have done pretty much everthing apart from sex itself. i love and trust my partner very much! and it seems that my hymen or what ever it is has already broken because i have bin fingered alot and stuff but i never bled and i didnt experiance much pain as far as i can remember either. so now we are talking about having sex. i am soon to be going on the pill to control my periods anyway and we have protection ready. i know my boyfriend will be gentle but girls, will it still hurt even if my hymen thing has already bin broken? and can it be broken without pain or blood? thanks ... x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): well all girls are diffrent ..it hurt my first time , its not a unbareble pain ,its a weird feeling but yes it does hurt a little
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): Where to begin?? You're still really young and even though you've been with your boyfriend for a while now, are you sure you want to give up your virginity for him? You'll be surprised, but I'm sure many people will agree with me when I say that you think about things differently when you're younger- You tend to think that what you do now won't affect you later- but it does and then you get the reality check.Can you be sure that you'd be able to live happily with your decision for the rest of your life? I can understand that both of you feel something for eachother and hormones levels are at a high( his probably a lot more than yours after all he's 16 and you're 14) I would suggest waiting a little while longer- enjoy what you have without the complications that sex will inevitably bring to your relationship as it does to everybodies.You've already discovered various ways to pleasure eachother. Is intercourse necessary to your relationship? And without trying to be condesending are you emotionally mature enough to deal with anything that may go wrong? ie.) if you end up splitting not long after? If you fall pregnant?I hate to sound negative, but you should also consider the fact that it's illegal for you to have sex and for him to be having sex with you. Are you sure that at 14 years old you wouldn't rather have some good times with your friends and be 14 instead of having the worries of someone older than you?Ultimately it's up to you- but sex I'm sure for many first timers ISN'T the mind blowing experience people are led to believe and sex to some degrees can be painful. A lot of it depends on how relaxed you are and how well you know eachother.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): Don't have sex with him. I thought i was ready when I was 14 and looking back, i am positive i would have regretted it, although i wasn't in as serious a relationship as you. pretty much you have all the time in the world to do it, so i suggest waiting a bit.As for the pain, its not as bad as the world tells you.
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A
female
reader, Skeez +, writes (25 August 2007):
 Are you sure you want to lose your virginity to him? Remember it is still illegal for you to have sex at your age. And his too to have it with someone under aged.Why dont you wait it out until your 16? So then its perfectly fine to do so. But if you choose to go ahead with it now. then ill tell you this. Everyone is different. It didnt hurt me when I first had sex with my boyfriend. You may too bleed which I didnt either. So if you feel as though your comfatable enough to have sex then thats kool.Goodluck hun
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A
female
reader, *Desire*  +, writes (25 August 2007):
Hey, do not have sex unless you are ready, forget your boyfriend for the moment, it is a big thing and think about it! As for the pain, it will probably hurt a little bit but nothing too tragic and it will be totally natural for it to be a bit uncomfortable. even though you have a sexual relationship you might bleed but again nothing to worry about.But you are only 14, it's a big step and you have to be prepared mentally as well, no matter how mature you may think you are, be careful and be safe.
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