A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my fiance are starting to plan our wedding. I've never been to one and despite a lot of trawling the net, I still have no clue what's involved! Do you have any stories or simple wedding ideas from your own wedding or one you've been to? Anything and everything would help me out!I don't think I'd like a very traditional one. My partner mentioned aisles today and it just seems weird to me - walking down an aisle in front of a lot of people I don't know very well (his whole family) would feel strange and not very special. I think I'd rather have a very small wedding (say 20 people) but I think he has to invite all his relatives. I doubt either of my parents would come, so it would be me and his family, plus a few friends of course. But if we went for a traditional aisle thing, how to I decide who walks me down it? I've only met my dad a few times and he isn't someone I like much. My mum thinks weddings are stupid and if she did come, it'd be really stressful for me. I guess that's why I want a really small-scale wedding. Is it legal if you skip the whole ceremony/celebrant bit?Also, my partner's parents have offered to pay for everything (they're really excited for us!) but I still feel really uncomfortable about spending a lot of money on one day when there's our whole lives to think about. They're being so generous, but I'd still prefer to have a tiny wedding and get the money together for a house deposit. Is that really rude of me to say to them?I've never been big on throwing parties - I like it about the same as staying in on my own watching tv. And once it's over, I remember it about as much as I remember what I'd been watching on tv. I'd like to be married to my partner without going through a wedding and all the stress that seems to go with it. To those of you who've had weddings, is it worth it?It seems like the exchange of vows and promises to each other should be a personal, private thing, not done in front of a crowd. I don't like being the centre of attention at the best of times and since I cry when I talk about anything important and emotional, I think I'd be terrible at standing up in front of almost strangers and declaring my love. It's not my idea of fun, but how can I get out of doing it that way without disappointing people?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 I don't know how things work in new zealand but at least here in the States you can take a walk down to the judge and let them marry you.
A friend of mine did that - real quiet, nice little dinner with just about a dozen people and that was it. No fuss.
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