A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I get more friends, as at the moment I have none, I have tried going to night classes in the past and have went to functions etc. on my own but I always seem to end up on my own and it's starting to depress me a ittle. I feel I only live for work and when I am not there, I wish I was because it's the only place people actually have to speak to me and I feel like I have a purpose for getting out of bed. I have tried networking sites etc. Is it normal for a girl in the 20's not to have any mates, let alone getting a boyfriend, I am not sure what I am doing wrong, people just on't take to me and the people I work with are all older than me but they seem to like me although they take the mikey that I have no mates and no boyfreind.What can I do?
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female
reader, niki20  +, writes (22 May 2009):
 do you have a sister? thats were i meet people.i use to go out to dinner or somewere, nightclubs etc and meet people, just walked up and started talking to people. friends are everywere you just have to introduve yourself and start talking. im not sure what the age there is to drink but maybe go to bar and grab a deink w/someone you dont know. maybe try a couple hours at a new job, seasonal work, etc......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): hi!maybe the problem is you?i want u 2 check if u do the following:1.facial expression.dont look too serious or dont look rude.2.always have a smile on your face.3.confidence.always be confident when you are walking.4.dont always wait 4 someone to come and talk 2 you.try starting a conversation.5.dont always talk about yourself in a conversation!wish u luck.do me a favour;PLEASE DONT LOOSE HOPE OR BE DEPRESSED.Strong girls NEVER GIVE UP!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): Oh hun! I feel so sad for you as I can feel in your words that you feel very down on yourself. You are a wonderful person with plenty to give, you just need more confidence and self belief. I would suggest for starters that you actually look into self help groups or confidence building workshops (or see your GP who can refer you to the right people to help build your self esteem), as it is obvious with what you've written that people can see you don't think much of yourself. This makes you an easy target for heartless bullies who just want to put someone down (who doesn't have the confidence to stand up to themselves properly) to make themsleves feel better! If you feel better about yourslef you will be more confident and people wont see you as an easy target. Also when you don't have many friends when you find someone you get on with you may be being over friendly in a quest to secure a friendship which then may be being misconstrued as desperation and scare people off (in the same way being too keen on a guy can scare him off!).
If you have any hobbies go to places where there will be like minded people as you will naturally relax when you're around activities you enjoy and will have an instant common ground with the people around you. Fix the root of the problems and the rest, with patience will follow. Most of all just be yourself! Take care.xx
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