A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure I have done the right thing.A bit of a long story - me and a guy at work have been flirtng for years and we have both said we like each other - the problem - he only wants "fun" and I want more. We have kissed once, very passionately at work after hours. Since then we have been getting along fine but he doesn't want to go out for drinks after work, I have asked in a discrete way, he has never asked me out, we do chat a bit but today after work he asked if I wanted to you know -at work - I said no because I am not like that, he knows I am shy and inexperienced, but the thing is I really really like him and he knows that and I feel like rubbish because I know he only wants "fun" and it hurts like hell but I don't just want to be used but I am really into him and I think I have just blown any chance and I will hate myself even more if he doesn't speak to me at work.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): Blown your chance? You never really had a chance since he's told you from the beginning he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If you feel like crap for doing stuff with him, stop. There's nothing you can do to really change his mind!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): My advice to you would be to move on and find someone that DOES want to take you for a drink after work. You will really regret it if you give in to this man's desire for "fun" as you've said you want more and I can guarantee he'd drop you like a hot potato as soon as he's got what he wants. Also please don't mistake any future interest as a desire to commit as I'm sure if you move on he'll suddenly see you as more of a challenge and appear "interested". I was great friends with a guy at work for 3 years who would tell me he loved me to get what he wanted. When our secret relationship came out to everyone at work, he turned his back on me and forced me out of my job! I know this is an extreme example but in my experience you shouldn't let your relationship encroach on your work life especially when he's just not that into you.
Sorry this sounds harsh and won't help how you feel inside, but you will find someone who deserves your affection when you least expect it :) Good luck hun.xx
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