A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I get jealous when I see pictures of couples (like on facebook)...I just realize I'm alone. :( I then get mad at the thought of thinking how this one girl played a bunch of games with me 5.5 years ago. I really haven't had a gf...I get angry and feel down..I could ask a bunch of random girls out, and one will pan out. But I don't know...girls I'm interested turn me down. Girls that are interested in me (even a cute one), I'm not interested in...too long to explain why. What to do?
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female
reader, jc82 +, writes (11 February 2010):
 I had a problem like this for a long time. I didn't like guys that liked me, and guys I liked didn't seem interested. I ended up first in a 2 year relationship with someone I didn't like, and then after in a 2 year relationship with someone who liked me a lot less than I liked him. Both were awful in their own way. But, I'm married now, in a happy, balanced situation. For me, I think I just needed to grow up. And make a lot of mistakes before I could learn how to find what I wanted, and understand myself enough to choose people who were good for me.
If looking at pictures of couples bums you out, don't do it. And the best advice I can think of is to earnestly try and find someone, and do a better job of understanding what you like and what you don't like and why. Remember, it only has to work once! Good luck.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Hi Hun
It sounds to me as if you dont trust women because of what this girl did to you 5yrs ago..
I can understand if you have been played around and hurt that you will be left feeling very angry at times, I also understand when you see other happy couples it can upset you and make you feel anger because this is what you really want but are to scared to get played and hurt again that you have put a block up and wont let anyone in for that fear..But hunny that fear will lead to all the feelings you are getting..
And its anger at I believe yourself because you dont no how to break this circle...
Girls that are interested in you, You turn down and you try to go for the girls that are not interested as you need to be the one to take charge of the situation as then you feel safer...I hope Im explaining this right :)
I have been very badly treated in the past so I no how upset can turn to anger and then to wishing you were the loving couple that look so happy, And that leads to being more upset more confused and more angry...
I got so very angry with myself for allowing someone to affect me this way..And in the end that is how I broke that circle, I took a huge step back and really thought why let some complete idiot ruin my future happiness as then he was still winning and controlling my life..
You need a fresh start, Not all women are the same as not all men are the same give yourself a break and try and relax talk to the cute girl that is interested in you start off slowly, Just start believing in yourself and trusting others a little more everyday. I no its hard but trust me if I can do it anyone can, As time goes on if you gain self confidence and become more trusting the bad feeling will be replaced with good happy feelings and you will also feel stronger and then when you see couples you can feel happy..You need to get back good happy feelings by believing in you and how strong you are..If you need a chat message me PLEASE TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 February 2010):
 You haven't healed yet. Your soul is full of anger and resentment. You are looking for something to come in from the outside to make you happy when happiness comes from the inside and from the things you do.
Over the past 5.5 years you have wasted away the best dating years of your life. If you hang on to the anger against your ex girl for another 3-5 years you will be practically marriageable. I think that it is a good sign that you are asking the question here. It means that you are starting to reach out.
You are in no way ready for a serious committed relationship (couple) right now. You do need some good friends of both genders, that you can do things with in a non committed kind of way.
When these thought of your ex come around instead of entertaining them, replace them with positive thoughts. Positive music is a powerful tool in doing this. You need to forgive her, forget her, and move on.
You need to concentrate on yourself for a while.
FA
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