A
male
age
41-50,
*eadEyeDick
writes:How is it so easy for humans to just fucking shred the life and heart out of another in any instance, but im speaking of 2 people as deeply in love as you can get, who stay with each other for along time, one of them starts to lose it, but they do not really fight, they have disagreements, and argue, but in general, they get along well, could someone please explain THE EXACT FEELING AND THOUGHTS ONE FEELS WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THE OTHERS HEART, FEELINGS AND LOVE, AND DECIDE THEY NEVER WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM AGAIN?? Im coming from a standpoint that as bad as it got, I never could savagely hurt someone, and im trying my hardest to understand the thought process of people that do this, maybe im a weirdo, i just dont comprehend, how one just loves somebody so long, then says fuck'em, lay it out for me please? No matter how bad I felt trapped, or I wanted to be free, I could always mentally bring myself to remember the good and what it was i loved about the person, and that would straighten me out and put me back onto the road of normalcy, I think after so long I saw it more as logic then as a feeling of butterflies, and rose petal blinders, what am I missing?
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (11 October 2010):
DeadEyeDick is verified as being by the original poster of the question It has happened to me before, Im not still angry over it, just very confused, as ive never been the one to do it, my question is less from my break up, as I know why she split, but more from a couple married friends of mine, whos wifes have both split, and their was seemingly nothing wrong for either of them, there was plenty wrong in my relationship, I just really feel bad for my friends, I wasnt married, and I guess thats what changes the dynamic between my break up and theirs
A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (9 October 2010):
 It depends on what side of the fence you are... They are selfish, they are careless and they are certain that you will get over them, because it is said that nobody literally died from being cheated on or after a break up. They're shallow and they regret messing with the wrong person, they can't cope with their partner's enthusiasm, they set unrealistic goals on them one, they cannot live up to those goals so they just run away.
I'm not being sarcastic nor trying to be smart-ass, I just think it's just human nature and that's how rotten people are. I think this is one of the existential-impossible-to-give-an-exact-answer question.
There's a reason in every person and no scientist, no matter how good or well-trained he may be, isn't able to go to the bottom of human's brain or heart, so we accept several points of view, because every person is acting in different ways.
Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (9 October 2010):
 I think you might have driven her away with your overly aggressiveness? You seem rather confrontational. No sane woman wants that over the long term. A calm happy partner = more peaceful happy life.
Peoples feelings change. There are millions of breakups everyday - someone ends up hurt. In the end, we can't live our lives for someone else. We're all responsible for ourselves and our own happiness. Thats what she did and thats what you have to do now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): Not all people do this on purpose and i agree that some people really have no good reason for breaking up with someone but others do.It is obvious that this person dosnt seem to care as much as they used to anymore but the fact that they once loved you may not be able to stop it from hurting but help in a way.Not all people are meant to be together and as im sure you'll agree it is better for two people to be apart then it si for them to be together with no love.Although it may seem like hell now it does get better over time and if you carry on being angry with everyone and everything then your going to end up losing more then one person you love.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 She sees the rest of her life having the relationship that most people envy but yet she misses that chasing, that heart throbbing feeling when she meets a fresh guy, the thoughts I can't live without you at the beginning. She has an unrealistic idea of what a relationship is like. She's afraid to see that relationships are not that magical as she imagined it to be. Usually the missing spark is not in the partner, but in the person who complains about it. If she doesn't even know what she's missing she can't tell you about it, and if she knows she feels ashamed having to tell you that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): My guess is a girl left you, and it caught you off guard? Married maybe. But chances are man she saw a different picture. She was unhappy for a while and couldn't take it anymore. Some women are like that, they won't voice their feelings of unhappiness. You either gotta sense it and get it out of them or you get what you got. But from the sounds of it, if you were just doing it for the sake of logic, normalcy, or like because of the time invested, its probably for the best. That doesn't sound like love to me but everyone is different. If she cheated and left you, you don't want a girl like that anyways.
If this is going to haunt you, or mess with your head long term see a shrink. I have a friend who got burned bad twice in a row in a LTR by his girl and all I can say is it can get ugly but if you take care of yourself and meet new girls you'll meet a good one.
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