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age
30-35,
*
writes: This is going to sound wierd, but people are concerned about my mental health and to be honest, so am I. I am VERY paranoid, if something happens I DO take it the wrong way every time, so that it ends up like things are against me.I panic easily, worry way too much and see things that aren't there (not hallucinations, I mean think people are meaning something that they're not). I always think people are talking about me, when usually they're not. I snap very easily at little things and my mood changes so fast. I can be depressed one minute and so happy the next. I never had a problem until my parents highlighted it and now I realise it not normal. Aparently, the frequent and fast mood changes might be schizophrenia - which really scares me. I do have a lot of friends, who I do talk to a lot, but sometimes I say things to myself..which people think is me having conversations with myself. I also have self esteem issues. I think, well know actual, that Im ugly. I say it all the time, I look in the mirror for ages picking out imperfections and I make myself feel sick. Im also fat and nothing I wear, I think, suits me. People say Im so wrong and that Im pretty and slim - which makes me angry as they're lying to me. I feel like a really do need help now. Do you think I have got something wrong mentally. Do i need a psychiatrist? Im scared!
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reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 No, I don't think you have anything wrong mentally, and I don't think you need a psychiatrist. You need a good long talk with one of your parents or with a teacher.
You're in the 13-15 age group, right? Well, you write intelligently, accurately and perfectly lucidly. In fact, your question reads like something put together by someone with years of writing experience. You aren't daft. You aren't disturbed. You aren't unbalanced.
But something clearly isn't right, or you wouldn't be asking your questions, and quite obviously you're not happy. So you DO need to do something.
The first and most likely cause of your problems is the "normal" teenage hormone inbalances. We all had them, but it affects some people much worse than others. The other common teenage problem (and not just teenagers) that accounts for your problem of thinking people are saying things about you when they're not and meaning something when in fact they mean something completely different, is quite simply a combination of not listening properly to what people DO say and assuming that the whole world revolves around you. I know, it's easy for me to say when my teens were 30 years ago, but it's true. What can you do? Not a lot. Chill out. Listen instead of talking. If you think you hear something you don't like the sound of, go ask about it. Hey! It DOESN'T MATTER what the rest of the world says anyway. It's a fact of life that half of the human race are total a**holes (cynical view? maybe!!). Let it go over you - even if they did say something that's not great, it's their problem not yours.
Now - that mirror. Well I could tell you you're the most beautiful person in the world, but I haven't seen you. It doesn't actually matter. Looks, size, imperfections are OK. It's what makes us all different. I've said before on here: I'm nearly bald, red hair, freckles, uneven/broken teeth, spectacles, a good few scars, and I'm married to the hottest woman who ever walked the face of the earth. Looks don't matter one bit. Love yourself for what you are, and don't dwell on the bits that aren't perfect because they aren't important.
As I said, go talk things through one bit at a time with someone who will listen and care. And suddenly you'll find it's not half as bad as you thought it was. At worst they'll suggest a quick chat with a doctor, maybe just to see if the doc can help with the hormone thing.
OK?
Come back and let us know how it's going. Or send me a message. I really want to know how you get on.
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 It doesn't hurt to see a counselor or a psychologist to determine whether you are too unstable, but a lot of the symptoms you're noting sound like what come with the teen years(perhaps you are an only child and your family is not used to these tendencies, or especially if this is a recent change for you, they may be a little startled). self-esteem comes with time, and while some people may not be showing it, they're in the same boat as you during this turbulent period. Same with body image feelings. Never put yourself down like this. you only have one body in your life, embrace it and realize its an impermanent meaningless thing anyway, it only carries your soul, your personality, your morals and all the things that are important to you, and DO matter to the people who love you. I used to be paranoid like you, and for a large part that comes with the self esteem issue. of course people are talking badly about you, because you suck, right?, and they can see right through you as only the bad and the ugly as you do. let me tell you something: the only person who thinks as negatively about you and cares so much about how you are coming off and presenting yourself is YOU. meaning, although you don't intend to, and you surely don't want to, but you've gotten in a habit of blowing yourself up to be this big ugly scar on the beautiful face of the rest of society. As I've grown up I've realized that it's really the opposite, that society is ugly and makes people feel ugly and never good enough until they've bought every beauty product and clothes item and starved themselves and lipo-ed out the undesirable parts. I remember when I was around 11 and wanted to take scissors to cut off my baby fat. Our culture does this to us, and it's hard to deal with all these things at a young age, how you're supposed to look, supposed to act, etc, to be accepted. Realize that you have to accept yourself and ignore the rest. What if people WERE talking about you, think about what those implications are. you are in charge of your life, and you can manage your reactions to an event positively or negatively: choose to see the world in a positive light and you may find you have better things to do than worry about the doings of others and their feelings towards you.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Hello hun,All people go through bouts of low self esteem and become very selfconscience and that is normal, but it shouldn't encompas your life. It is very good that you are even listening to the people around you and are heading their concerns. If you feel you need help than that is all that matters and there is nothing wrong with going to a theripist who is qualified to actually say "Yes there is" or "No there isn't."We here cant diagnose you(unless there are qualified aunties on this website) and you just may be best visiting a theripist if even to raise your self esteem and talk to someone who has the ability to listen well and can help.I wish you the best in life.HonningKannin
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