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female
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*inaG543
writes: My ex boyfriend says he is not gay, but he has lived with a gay male for over 20 yrs. He says it started out intimately, oral only just a couple times when he was like 16, but then it never happened again. He is now 44 and still lives with him, but he stayed with him cause he didn't have anywhere else to go. He never had any female relationships that were of a sexual nature.He has told me of some sexual childhood abuse. He also told me no real women turns him on. We met over a year ago. At first he when we was trying to have sex, he wouldn't get an erection, then the dr gave him vigra, it helps some. 400mg a lot.I asked him repeatedly if I turned him on and he would say no. I don't know how to take this. Most men would love to be with me, I'm a very attractive women. I don't have any problems finding dates. He says he would rather look at pornography and masturbate then to make love to a real women, or just watching a movie. He says he could get turned on just seeing a woman on a commercial. She don't have to not have clothes on and he would masturbate to her later, but he has never masturbated and thought of me. Only fake women, I don't understand this. Is he for real? Is he gay? Am I doing something wrong? I really got close to him after everyone told me he was gay. This is the first man I have let get this close to me since my husband died 4 yrs ago, but I told him I didn't want to see him anymore after he told me again, i didn't turn him on and he only masturbates to women he has seen on the TV or on the computer, or who knows where.. As long as he don't really know them. I'm very confused and need advice on what to do. I miss him but yet he has hurt and confused me so much. Any advice will be well taken as real caring from kind strangers. Thanks
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female
reader, Takaira +, writes (22 January 2006):
 I like to disagree with person who said you should remain friends. If you still have feelings for this person , he will be able to suck you right in and confuse you.(gay or not gay ) I say find a new friend to hang with one that you have no romantic feelings for. Good luck
A
female
reader, Takaira +, writes (21 January 2006):
oh he is bad for your self image gay or not.
I would write him off as gay ,and find love somewhere else.
He lives with gay roomate wake up. your toooo good for that, and who cares about his poor past
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (8 January 2006):
At his age, I sense he is a repressed gay who is afraid to come out of the closet because he is of that era that is afraid of public opinion.
Keep him as a good friend and'walker' because he will be no good as a sexual partner but terrific as someone to have around for support/friendship and companionship.
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A
female
reader, auntie jo +, writes (8 January 2006):
You should move on from this guy, he is no good. It sounds to me like he is very confused, i think he wants to be gay yet is scared to admit it in case he later decides he isnt. Im sorry about your husband, but i suggest when your ready to move on get to no the person well before you get close to them. I think hes lying about masterbating after seein these girls, hes just tryin to knock u of the sent of the truth. Forget about him i think hes gay!
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