A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can never get a real boyfriend. It seems like I can only sleep with any guy I want, but I dont want that. I want a relationship but guys just want me for sex and nothing else. I dont get it Im tall, thin (people say I look like a model) smart and funny. And no I dont dress like a slut or anything and I have had sex with only one person, who ended up using me. I have had only one real bf for not even a month and he didnt want to spend time with me. There were lots of guys who just wanted to use me but I didnt let them. I really dont get it, am I only good for sex? Is my personality so bad that guys dont want to date me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 I'm guessing you are talking about guys your own age? I think at your age very many men (boys...) are just looking for sex and to get notches on their bedpost. 'Friends with benefits' might be ok, but they're not looking for commitment. Not all of course! But many. Into your mid and late twenties they start to 'grow up' and be more interested long-term relationships
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 July 2008):
 People aren't seeing you as you see yourself. Guys who see "model" beauty sometimes see a girl who's out of their league.
Look at the term "you can have any guy you want". That's great, but to the guy, they get attached, you find someone better and it's just so simple for you to trade up.
This is a difficult challenge for you. Beauty that comes with a price. I find some of the hottest women are lonely. They don't want to be, but most guys see they don't have a chance.
Then if they do get you, they don't take you to meet their friends because of the fear their friends might try to betray them and have you for themselves.
I bet seeing yourself in the mirror naked, you probably don't drool. You don't because your a person, who's much more than what people see on the outside. You deserve to be loved, just as everyone else. I hope you find that someone who sees you for who you really are. Looks are really over rated. I'd much rather be with someone who has inner qualities. I wouldn't toss them away with outer qualities, but without the inner, it wouldn't last.
Take care, always be who you are and someone will love you for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): I know the feeling I am a lot older than you but for my age I am liek yourself. men want sex but no relationship.- Then I get the guys who say you ought to be married- but all I can say to you is if you do sleep with a guy soon it wouldnt last anyway they would be off-have you tried night school, classes. If youre going to night clubs bars its highly unlikely (not always) you wont find the right type of guy -you have to go to places where the serious types go
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): I can't comment on your personality without actually meeting up with you and seeing for myself what you're like.
I can only guess at the problem but here's a few thoughts:
Maybe the boyfriend of one month was hoping for sex and when he found it wasn't forthcoming decided to move on and find someone more willing. If that was the case he wasn't worth losing any sleep over.
You say you're smart - perhaps the guys you've met so far are intimidated by your superior intelligence. Maybe they're intimidated by your good looks, thinking that you're out of their league if they themselves don't feel they look like George Clooney or Richard Gere.
It's natural for a guy to want to have sex with a good looking woman but if that's all these men want you for they aren't worth losing any sleep over either.
Sooner or later you'll meet a man who loves you for your mind as well as your body, a man who excites you in the same way, someone who is as intelligent and good looking as yourself and who shares the same outlook on life. When you find each other you can expect Cupid's Arrow to strike you both like a thunderbolt. He's the one worth waiting for. Like someone said in another post - you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince!
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A
female
reader, LaydeeOfSorrows  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 You sound like a girl, that heaps of guys would love to be with, but you just havent found the right one.
I suggest trying to meet guys, outside of clubs,bars etc, because most guys there are just looking to get some.
Try to meet guys through friends, or at work.
There has to be some decent guys around, you just have to go to the right places to find them.
Good luck!
xx
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A
male
reader, iateadonut  +, writes (19 July 2008):
Maybe you should try finding a charitable organization to volunteer your time.
You might find someone in church or through your parents' friends.
Do you have a habit of flirting? Maybe you're giving the wrong signals, also.
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