A
male
age
36-40,
*mootnezz
writes:ok so i have this problem that i don't really think is a problem but everyone around me thinks it is. i am mostly a cold and sometimes unfriendly fellow; well, at least that's what a lot of people think. i don't do this from want of heart, but out of difference in my way of thinking. i meet a lot of people who like to say intimidating things to me cuz am a short guy. am 5ft. see? thanks to my way of looking at things,i accept realities about myself and i welcome anybody who likes me for who i am and think people who don't appreciate me bugger off. some way some how, i have more words capable of hurting anybody who makes fun of me first than they could ever imagine, and it has become part of me. but sometimes people say things without knowing they will make u feel bad. such people always end up offended by me, when in actual fact, they were the ones to make fun of me first. so in what way am i a bad guy?the ladies around me are the ones that feel this way even more. cuz i realize and accept that no lady will naturally be romantically attracted to a guy like me at first sight. that is no big deal to me. so when any of those of them my class get close to me, i take it to be because i'm smart so i don't ever expect anything more. yet, they say i'm rude and i never knew this until yesterday when one of them was bold enough to approach me about it.so can anyone tell me if am doing anything wrong in the way i see things? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, smootnezz +, writes (23 June 2010):
smootnezz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo quiet-echo: i like answer. thanks for being frank cuz i know a lot of female readers would rather say nice things they don't really mean, to make me feel better. but you say things they way they should be said and that's remarkable.
one thing i need to point out to you though is that i don't say anything derogatory about anyone unless they do it to me first. as a matter of fact people very close to me think am funny. so what makes others think am rude is what i can't exactly comprehend.
thanks again.
A
male
reader, SoNotVanilla  +, writes (23 June 2010):
Body language is where I would start. I can have a 10 minute fight with my wife in about 45 seconds all by cluing into her body language. Try the same thing in a mirror using similar situations but try different body language. A big smile for instance can change the whole tone of a conversation.
My grandma always told me that the secret to good communication was tactfulness; and tactfulness is nothing more than the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Cheers
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