A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I really struggle when speaking and getting to know people nearly every time I meet someone they call me weird and I know they don't mean this offensively as I ask them , yet I take it as a bad thing . a lot of people have said I am really funny , quirky and individual yet I still get called weird and I really don't like it , is this a bad thing ? how do I change this even though I don't always know if I am being weird or I don't think to myself what ive just said to someone is odd as when I get called weird it makes me feel so bad about myself and because of this I find it harder to talk to people . Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2018): This is an important stage in your growth. You are maturing towards womanhood. You are developing psychologically, and blossoming emotionally.
This is a critical time in your development that you must be well aware that self-esteem is "homegrown." You nurture it by seeking wisdom and building your self-confidence. It is not something given to you by other people. What people give you, they can surely take-back. What you were born with, or developed within yourself; is a part of you, and who you are. If it makes you a good/special person, let no one remove it!
What's so bad about weird? If it's a good weird; then start to embrace who you are. People often don't use the right word; because society slants towards meanness nowadays. You are unique, and set apart from the average. That's who and what I am, and I don't want to be anything else!
If you're kind, loyal, have manners, you're fun-loving, independent, happy, and have a positive or healthy outlook on life; by today's standards, that's weird!
If you can see things from a more abstract, as opposed to a simplistic point of view, you're weird. Most highly creative and exceptionally-intelligent people, are "weird!" Being independent and self-reliant; as opposed to bowing easily under peer-pressure, is weird. Not being a rubber-stamped personality; but being one of a kind. That's weird. If you're a really small-minded or bigoted person; all you ever see is what's different about people. Not what's special.
We start-out with a core-personality; and we build upon that personality with education, life-experience, developing tools for survival; and the pursuit of happiness. Not everything based upon the opinions and decisions of others; but using our own values, intellect, common-sense, and what we've learned from our parents and teachers.
Being different/weird, is not bad; unless it does things that are destructive, dishonest, cruel, criminal, or deceptive. If your weird is the kind of weird that makes a lot of enemies; then you should take heed to such a criticism.
You have to develop a thicker skin. Words can hurt; but you can't control the words that come out the mouths of others. The earth is populated with billions of people; and you will encounter hundreds, if not thousands, over a lifetime. Each one of us comes equipped with mouths, minds, and opinions.
You have a long-life and a big world to live through. Letting criticism or opinion take you down now; means you'll be as typical, average, or as plain as many others. Always on a couch somewhere telling someone how much you hate your life at $200 per hour, swallowing pills to ease your self-inflicted anxieties; and living at the mercy of other people who prefer to hurt your feelings, to treating you kindly and wanting you as a friend.
Learn how to dismiss things that have no true value; or offer you no form of enrichment of your life. Ponder on things, fact-check, and give them real consideration before you accept them as factual. Know yourself and form a healthy and positive opinion; based on your best attributes. Work on your fixable weaknesses, and stay weird. Don't follow everything or anything; just because everybody else does. Just because most people may do it, doesn't make it right. Your weirdness is your individuality. It's your quirk! I defy you, or anyone reading this; who can find anyone that you can't find something weird about.
If you spend most of your time picking people apart, pointing out their differences, looking for their imperfections, and always citing what they see bad in people. That's a sign of insecurity, jealousy, poor character; and indicative of a person who will least likely succeed in relationships. When people say things hurtful or offensive; you have to consider the source. What makes them so not weird?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2018): The only thing you need to learn/change is how to stick up for yourself. Put your energy into accepting who you are and be confident about yourself. If you fibd it hard to talk to people you need to not shy away and think 'weird' is negative. Some people will like you some wont, be who you are not what people want you to be. There is nothing wrong with you. You are unique.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 July 2018):
 Embrace who you are, OP
Someone who don't really know you and call you weird, SO WHAT? You don't need THEIR opinion to be who you are. They don't know you. And anyone CALLING you weird doesn't MAKE you weird.
I've been called a snob and antisocial by people who didn't really know me. And I was neither, I was just shy around new people.
TRY not to give other people that much power over you. Grow a little bit thicker skin. You are an individual, you are you and WHO cares what some random guy thinks of you? Maybe he WAS weird for thinking he can go around and calling people things like that!
And I absolutely agree with Youcannotbeserious - USE humor. The whole - I'm not weird but limited edition - is a GREAT comeback and can be used in many situations.
Besides OP, who wants to be a "basic beige"?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (1 July 2018):
 The term "weird" can have positive or negative connotations, depending on how it is said and meant.
Perhaps you need to embrace your personality and CHOOSE to take this in a good way? Many people are awkward when meeting new people. You are in no way "weird" in that area. Personally I would much rather deal with someone "weird" or "quirky" than someone boring.
Do you feel confident enough to turn it into a joke when it is next said? For instance, say "I'm not weird, I'm limited edition" and give a big smile? That way, if the speaker meant it in a light hearted way, you merely carried that on. If they didn't, then you can turn the situation on its head and diffuse any tension from it.
You can't control what people do or say, but your strength lies in how you react to them. Rise above these comments, make a joke out of them and refuse to be upset. It's all about attitude and you sound like a bright young lady who can learn how to use these situations to your advantage.
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