A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I really like the way I look, but people just seem to not take me seriously. I am 16. I am a bleach blonde. a little taller than the regular. I have as some people say the 'perfect nose' (people ask if I had a rynoplasty haha) I have brown eyes, in general, a pretty face. I am skinny (not too skinny), I have naturally big boobs and nice but not big ass. I dress with loose rockband tshirts (pink floyd, metallica) because rock is what I'm into. Also mini skirts and heels. And piercings.My friends describe me as the punk rock version of barbie hahahaha!The fact is that i've been single for so long... I've never had a serious relationship or anything close to it, and I'm just feeling so alone... :(Guys like me, but not the ones I'm into. I get lots of messages on facebook but they're just disgusting "You have the most amazing boobs!" "your boobs are huge! you're so yummy!" :l and I just feel hurt because I try to be really nice to people, and specially when I like a guy. I like to mess around when I'm into someone, but I just can't be taken seriously by guys, even when I play the good girl, all they want is sex. I've tried guys my age, guys in their twenties, and a little older. It's just something in my persona that screams f*ck me to them! I've tried on love so many times, I'm just about to give up. I've tried with girls already, but realized it's only physical atraction. What do you think? What can I do to find a nice guy? Please help me! This is getting on my nerves. I'm even getting a bad reputation, and people are calling me slutty, dumb, etc. This is getting worst and worst. Thank you so much for your advice! :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Snowshoe thank you so much too! I love that kind of clothing and I have tried so many looks, I've tried retro, I've tried sweet little girl, you know, with the bows and cute dresses, but it's just that right now, that's my look, because I have loved rock since I was 11, and I'm still exploring it. By the way I loved the pinup girl site. Maybe I'll go back to those days and improve my style. I don't really want to have a makeover because it's too soon. But I'll figure out, and just take a deep look at it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): Thank you all so much! k_c100 and wants2bhappy thank you very much you helped me a lot! As for the other ones, sorry to sound that way, really I'm not trying to lie or brag about myself, it's just that I don't really know how to express myself and I just sound dumb and foolish. If I wanted to get comments on my appearence, I'd just stay on facebook. I'm really looking for advice!
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A
male
reader, Snowshoe  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 I love the Euripides quote. Sweetheart it may be time to do a makeover. We are all into different things but we don't always advertise with our attire. Also what you are into doesn't sound like who you are as a person.
So from a guys point of view classic sexy understatement is often much more beautiful than short skirts and tank tops. It's very much like the trend for a number of punkers I know who have started to dress in very classy vintage 40's and 50's suits. They make a statement but with a little more pinache than the traditional ragedy punker look.
A female example could lean more towards a 40's-60's pin up look. Even a slightly sultrier Jacky Kennedy. Though I must say that the pin up girl look can sometimes be a little trashier looking than you may want. Meaning don't over sell/advertise the 'girls'. A skirt 2"-3" above the knee with the right shoe is always a show stopper for most men.
Try www.pinupgirlclothing.com for some ideas and then branch out from there. Make the men take the time to see you as a person and let the clothes make the right kind of introductions. All the best.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Know first who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.
Euripides
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): i don't want to sound to mean but...... it seem like your little full of yourself and you just want ppl to comment on how perfect you sound...your still young but just fyi looks are not everything especially when your looking for a meaningful relationship...
you still got a lot of growing up to do...
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A
female
reader, wants2bhappy  +, writes (1 February 2011):
it must be difficult to hear these comments, but perhaps you should be proud that you are pretty and that you look after yourself.
I think you are trying too hard to find a nice guy. You are 16, you will have plenty of time to find a nice guy, but it will happen if you are not that desperate to find him.
First, you need to find yourself. get to know yourself first, stand in the mirror, try on different style of clothes, see what you feel yourself in and what is comfortable. Surely, wearing high heels and mini skirt cannot be good all the time. And it is really true that the way you dress gives a message out there.
regarding facebook: The comments you get there, dont take it to heart. Think about it this way: They are after what they cannot have. Simple as that.
You said sometimes you play the good girl: Dont play anything, they can c through that. Just be yourself and if someone doesnt like you or doesnt want any serious relationship with you then, it is their problem. You just be yourself.
If you find the right guy, you will know because he wouldnt want to change you, he will love you the way you are.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Well I would say that if you want to be taken more seriously then you might have to reconsider the way you dress. Now I am not saying change who you are, because that would be wrong. But for a 16 year old to be in mini skirts and high heels with bleach blonde hair, you will be giving off the wrong impression to anyone that looks at you. No guy will ever look at you, dressed that way, and think you are a long term relationship, take home to mum type girl. They will look at you and think "this girl is up for a bit of fun, she will be easy to get into bed".
So maybe try and tone down your look a bit so you stop looking so trashy and be a bit more stylish. So lose the mini skirts and heels, heels are fine if you are going on a night out but during the day, especially aged 16, it looks slutty. Try some skinny jeans rather than mini skirts as these are still 'rock' but dont show too much flesh. I'm sure you have a good sense of style so just tone it down a bit and think carefully about what your clothes are saying about you - if you want a nice guy, and for other people to take you seriously then you need to dress in a way that shows you take yourself seriously, rather than wanting to be 'punk barbie'.
And also with your facebook - clearly if they are messaging you about your boobs then your profile picture (or other pictures) must be you showing off your clevage - stop this and the messages will stop. If you really were wearing "loose rock t-shirts" then no-one could see your boobs, so clearly your facebook pictures are showing something different. If you stop with the sexy, clevage flashing pictures and put a more normal picture up there then this will stop any unwanted messages about your boobs from weird guys.
Just remember - the way you look and dress gives off messages about who you are as a person, even if you may be something totally different on the inside. Clothes express who you are, and if you dress slutty then other people are going to assume you are a slut. Yes it is wrong, but this is the image you are portraying. So think about how you want people to see you, what you want people to think when they see you - and then dress accordinly.
Dont change who you are or the clothes you like, but just learn to wear them in more appropriate ways.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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