A
female
age
,
*ock chick
writes:partner today has asked me to move out, he is buying me out as i am on the title deeds.He has told me he has slept with another woman (that makes the total 2 in 6 months) so why would i want to stay in the house with him/I can't stand him anymore - with his bullying and lies and womanisingHe says he wants me off the deeds and the only way is to buy me out - I don't want to move out until i have the money, but it is wearing me down and making me feel ill.I can live with my mam for a while until i get sorted but i can't go on like thisI am weakening - i said i wouldnt go until i have the money but i can't staywhat else is there to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): Do not move out under any circumstances.POSSESSION IS NINE TENTHS OF THE LAW. you have no gaurantee you will get your money and even if you went to court it could cost you thousands.Options1 - Change locks and call police when he demands to be let in. Tell them he is bullying you, emotional abuse, threat of violence etc. He will then be forced to stay away and you are in a very strong position to either get him to pay you his share and keep your home or to get him to pay you to move out.He can stay with his girlfreind.2- How big is your home? Could you get a lodger in or a freind or even your mum in? Bullies are cowards and they dont like witnesses. Get freinds to call in every evening when he is there. Let him see how much support you have. keep a diary of everything he does and says re abuse. Also take any valuable documents out of the house.You should do a course in assertiveness training. He is using fear to rule you and letting him see it bothers you is allowing him to win. He will not change his ways because at present there is no incentive for him to do so.The girlfriend is irrelelvent he could have told her all sorts of lies about you. And he is using her as a weapon aginst you so he clearly doesnt respect her either.No one can do this for you. You must find the strength and self belief to do this yourself when you do this then others can help. If you took option 1 you would get lots of help and support. Your solicitor is a witness to your distressed state due to the emotional and mental abuse for instance. Keeping a diary and photos of any damge to yourself and personal possessions is invaluable. Your boyfreind is engaged in psychological warfare with you and he is therefor a psychologically damaged human being. Remember you cannot reason with an unreasonable person! Your boyfreind is clearly mentally unbalanced and this is all the more reason to sit tight and change the locks.The greatest thing we have to fear is fear itself. you will be far stronger if you stand up to him. You will get far more personal satisfaction and self esteem if you do this.Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): You should try and stand up to him even though it's difficult. I know how hard it must be to be in the same house as him knowing what he wants to do..Remember though that it is him that wants the relationship to end and won't make it work, so maybe HE should be the one to move out?He wants out, let him be the one to go..If you cant afford to pay him out then just stay put, dont go anywhere until you have your money. How dare he demand that you be the one to leave after he has been the one to destroy any chance of a happy future you may have had together. He's cheeky and really trying it on chick. You get your money and run as far away from this selfish, callous man as fast as your legs will carry you. He'll do the same to her, so dont think youre missing anything there. Keep yourself really really busy, get your social life back on track and concentrate on the future you have to look foward to without him hanging around bringing you down. Keep strong and busy.It is your home too and if he really wants the whole thing to come to an end then he will have to get his act together and get the money quicker won't he?
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A
female
reader, ass +, writes (28 June 2007):
hi, just a follow up to see how things turned out for you . hope everything is fine xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): DO NOT MOVE OUThe wants to control you tell him MONEY AND I MOVE UNTIL THEN NO GO he's just a BULLY soon you wil be shot of him and his tart who will suffer the same treatment as you!Take care and hang in there
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A
female
reader, shortybabes +, writes (17 June 2007):
 Look hunni if you then tell him because there is no way he can physically make you move out hun,this guy is upsetting you emotionally and by the sounds he is going to make you move out emotionally, he is causing you to move out by attacking your emotions babe. Do not let him make you move out ok because like you said the title deeds is in your name. Always remember that just because it's easier to say yes you don't have to. It might be hard to say no but whatever you do don't let this guy break you hun.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 You're going through a very hard time, madam. Just rest assured that "this too shall pass".
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A
female
reader, ass +, writes (17 June 2007):
i really do feel for you, no one should make you feel that way. you where told that you would get the money quicker but how long is quicker? everyone needs money babe, however your life and your health is more important. if you have a solicitor then your money is guaranteed. try and hang in there. your going to leave the house anyway why not put your life on track sooner than later. xxx
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A
female
reader, Rock chick +, writes (17 June 2007):
Rock chick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello
i did go for advice from a solicitor and he said try to stay there as i would get the money quicker - i feel like i am at the end of my tether - partner says he swears on his sons life he will get me the cash as soon as possible
the solicitor said try to stay here - but he also said he didn't think i could/would as i am too nice...
partner says he wants me off the deeds and the only way to do this is to pay me...
i am losing weight, feel tired and torn in all directions.
i just want to go to sleep to be honest
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (17 June 2007):
Maybe he wants to push you out of the house, and then keep it to himself. The other woman may be putting pressure on him to make you go. Maybe this is the course of action he has chosen in order NOT to pay you for your share and please her other woman.
Now, living with that man must be awful. I think you should leave the house and live with your mother for the time being; but you should also ask him to sign a promise of purchase. In this way, he won't simply force you out of what's yours in full right.
Don't feel bad about this. You are a worthy person who deserves better than him.
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A
female
reader, ass +, writes (17 June 2007):
hi, its me again, have you been to the solicitor? as your name is still on the legal documents he has no right to bring his girlfriend to your home. if not then do things the legal way as you may never get your share of the house. they will make sure you get your money, however don't leave until you get advice from the solicitors. xxx
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A
female
reader, Rock chick +, writes (17 June 2007):
Rock chick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe has also said he wants to bring his new g/f back to our home when i go - i feel sick at the thought of her in my home
i wish he would just hurry up and get me what he owes me then this isn't my home any longer
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A
female
reader, ass +, writes (17 June 2007):
HI babe I'm so sorry to here what has happened. i think the best thing for you to do is to stay with your mum or a friend. seeing him around the house is whats making you feel so bad and knowing what he has done, it just a consent reminder. you need a clean start so move out. i know its not nice to have no money but, trust me you will service and it will make you a stronger person. good luck hun xxx
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