A
female
age
41-50,
*ena1976
writes:my partner had an emotional affair 2 years ago, but still talks to the girl via email despite my repeated requests for it two stop. my partner told me that it is no longer a romantic relationship and finds it hard to end it as the girl has problems and few friends to talk to. I told my partner that I find it very hard to emotionally reconnect with this continuing and she understands that and wants to bridge the distance between us, we get on well but we are often more like friends and I think its because of this. what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): please listen to me - he is still cheating. you need to give him an ultimatum YOU OR HER. it is very simple and easy. do not complicate it. he just needs to make a choice.
but you need to be firm and even if he doesn't decide it means that it is not you. by keeping quiet and not making a choice she is still in his life and yours. so plse be brave and stick to your decision. leave and get on with the rest of your life. marriage is only for 2 , not for 3 people. no matter whether emotional or sexual....there is no place for a 3rd person here. you need to be strong and firm in your life. good luck. please do not let thim man fool you anymore. he is still having this affair. and one way or another it needs to stop.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (29 May 2009):
 He needs to cut the crap, so to speak. It's sad, but honest to say that she may have problems, but why should her problems create problems for your relationship? He's giving you excuses to justify his behavior. Not okay. Keeping contact with this person is uncomfortable for you, and strains your relationship, so if he respects you and what you have, he'll end this communication. He doesn't have to be mean about it. Just simply tell her that he wants you two to work on strengthening what you have and can't do that if they continue talking.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 May 2009):
 What do you think you should do? He obviously don't seem to care how you feel about it. I'm sorry there is no way in any level of Hades, I would want to befriend someone my partner have deceived me with. I don't give a flying pig how few friends the "other" woman has.. NOT my concern.
All I can say is, I would let him go.
I'm normally not big on telling anyone (specially my husband) whom he can talk to and whom he can't, but once certain boundaries have been over stepped, I do put my foot down.
I'd honestly ask him what/who was more important to him.
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