A
female
age
36-40,
*ena1
writes:i am tired ,exhausted of problems.today i argued with my husband because of his mother,all this because she is diabetic and he always tells her to not eat things that can bother her but she never cares and always we have problems .always i give her the amount of food she should eats but she always add more.my husband always yell at her because of this things but she doesnt care and she says she knows what is good for her.anyways this morning my husband asked me for orange juice (because he has cold )and i told him i hope i can find some for you because i saw your mom drink it,and he told me she is not suppose to drink it because it has sugar.and because i am pissed of and tired of hearing this things day after day.I told him that i dont care she is old enough to know what is good and what is bad for her and also if something happen to her because of this i am not gonna spend my life taking care of her,she has daughter ,and since her daughter doesnt even take care of her now and she is healthy so when she is sick your the one ,i am not gonna do any things.then he told me if i say this thing about your mother would you like it?(by the way he always was saying to his mom if somethimg happen to her because of the way she eats he is not gonna care of her or neither me because we always advice her but in her mind she is always the one right).and that drived me crazy because he is the one was always saying this things ,and when i did because i am fed up he mad me feel guilty.i explained to him why i said that and he knows it and also i told him that he is lucky i am doing this for his mom and i accepted to stay with her at same house because she needs help and i even forget my self and mywilling.his answer was i chosed this(by the way i wrote before about this problem)do you think i was wrong by saying that to him? what should i do i am tired of this living way and tired of looking at his mother every day and tired of problems,and tired of not living like any married women.at the end all this because of me.well,since i chosed i can change it any time i want right?help me plz Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lena1 +, writes (29 May 2009):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for your answer.
i wanted to move out because of other problems i posted it before,but he said no because before we get married i chosed to stay with his mom,and he told me i cant change my mind every time i want.
and that s what i told him this morning,i told him to stop telling me what she should eat or not ,she doesnt listen and if something happen to her i am not gonna be servant all my life,but he did not like.
i think he is expecting me to take care of her if something bad happen to her .
if she was care full and she watch what to eat i will not have problem taking care of her if something bad happen to her,but now every time we talk about her health she doesnt care,so why should I.
i know that bothered him because she is his mom,but she desnt listen at all.
and i want to move out now but he did not want too because he wants to take care of her.
what i dont understand before we get married he was offering that and i said no,but when time comes and i wanted to do it, he told me she cant live alone.
if he does not want her to live alone why he was offering before?because he knows i am stupid and i have good heart and i was feeling sorry for her and i was going to refuse the offer.
that what bothering the most.
she is not bad women just too knowsy which i dont like.
I love my husband but i am tired of living this way,i dont know what to do.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 May 2009):
 Your MIL ( mother in law) is having WAY too much fun butting in your and your husbands lives.
I assume you live with her? If so maybe it's time for you two to get out on your own.
Yes, I agree with you that she is old enough to make her own choices as for food and stuff, but he is only trying to take care of his mom. However he is enabling her. She is acting like a kid in the candy store and she SHOULD know better, but I think she actually likes all the attetion from her sonv over it.
Personally I would not get into any of the issues with food and drink. Let it go and focus on yourself. Don't try and mother your husband, but don't try and let him help his mom.
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