A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is an addition to the question I posted yesterday, which can be seen here:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/could-a-guy-have-sex-with-someone-and.htmlThe girl that slept with my friend's boyfriend called me today and she said that since this happened, he has propositioned her for sex again last weekend saying "you're going to f*** me because you're my hoe" while my pregnant friend was sleeping in the other room. I guess I am also friends with her, only because I have known her and her family for most of my life, but I really don't like her as a person. I want to tell my pregnant friend about this but I know she won't leave him for it, and she'll just be more stressed out because of it. She lets everyone walk all over her and it makes me sad..I feel bad for this baby as the father is an alcoholic and also has a bad porn addiction, where he gets up every night and jerks off to porn. A couple times, my friend's 6 y/o daughter got up during the night to go to the bathroom, etc. and saw him passed out at the computer with his penis in his hand and porn was on. My friend called me a couple times very upset because this happened, and she would confront him about it and he would get mad and yell at her, get in her face, etc. I am also afraid that he may molest her 6 year old daughter as he is a very screwed up person. He also refuses sex with my friend now, but he'll get out of bed to "take care of himself" I don't think there is anything I can do, but advice would be appreciated.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 January 2008):
 The hard part here is the children involved. Six years old, she must be a kindergarden or first grade student. I'd talk to the teacher and see if they notice any negative behavioral signs. Kids who are molested are not open about just discussing it, but signs will come out or the was they present themselves in play. This takes a child professional, who's trained in sexual abuse to find out. The hard part with children is you have to be real careful not to say something or do something that will influence their decision in the way your trying to find out. A child that age, if they see a red car, and you look at them 10 minutes later and question them and leading them to believe it was black. They'll side with the adult. They do this because of how many children are raised. Talking back to authority means trouble.Now, without the sexual assualt on a minor, you still have a case that would provide safety to the children. Weather he knew he passed out handling his thing isn't relivant. What is, he placed himself in a position which allows a child access to view his privates. Passed out or wipping it out is the same when it comes to protecting children.You need to tell your friend that this is her child that's being damaged, not just her. When it comes to her child, she needs to choose the best interest of her child, not personal desires or wanting this to work or ignoring that it isn't. Be a friend to her, tell her you'll go with her to talk to someone, so she doesn't feel as if she's alone. Sometimes people have to use the strength of others when their in these situations and feel week. I hope it all work out there. Take care.
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