A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is always writing me poems telling me how much he loves me, and i thought that for valentines day i could write him a poem for a change,but im not to good at it,the poem i wrote below is what ive wrote and i wondered if you could help me by telling me if it is ok and any changes to make, thanks alot. :) xburning sunshining moonmorning starwhen I wake before I sleepwishing you were thereto kiss goodnightbut aslong as your in my heartit keeps we warm untill lightyou make me so happyyou make me laugh so muchand I still get those butterfliesevery time we touchevery touch from youis like finding a piece of goldsomething I thought id never had and so precious to holdnot only are you my boyfriendnut you’re my best friendand I want you to knowmy love for you will never end.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): I think it is a good poem and im sure he will love it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): I think it is a good poem and im sure he will love it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): I love it why can't i have someone to write me poems !lol! I've just corrected the spellings for you;
burning sun
shining moon
morning star
when I wake
before I sleep
wishing you were there
to kiss goodnight
but as long as your in my heart
it keeps we warm until light
you make me so happy
you make me laugh so much
and I still get those butterflies
every time we touch
every touch from you
is like finding a piece of gold
something I thought i'd never had
and so precious to hold
not only are you my boyfriend
but you’re my best friend
and I want you to know
my love for you will never end.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Sounds pretty damn good to me. He'll love it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): I love it. If someone wrote me a poem I would melt. I don't think that you should change it only because its from your heart and it is you. It shows who you are and how you write and your own personal style. That's priceless.
And above all just keep it personal and real. Write what you really think and feel and not what you think a poem should sound like. Make it your own voice which is what you have done. So good.
But if you just want tips on methods of writing poetry, I guess just like writing a song, try to find a rythm whether it rhymes or not. You can do that by counting syllables and having a structure, like a haiku (3 lines, 5,7,5 syllables). Or a sonnet (abbaabba-the letters signify the lines that rhyme with eachother) or shakesperean sonnet is (abab cdcd efef gg). These are just examples.
If you want to get ideas on poetry my all time FAVORITE poet who makes my hairs stand up is Pablo Neruda. All he writes is love poems and I think he is brilliant and a very famous poet from our times so you are not going to have to read it in old english or anything like that. Its all contemporary but in translation.
In any case, I love your poem and I hope I gave you good tips you can look into if writing is something that interests you.
...............................
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Very nice but I do have two corrections, "something I thought Id never have" and "But your my best friend." Aside from that I think it was really nice and I am sure he will love it.
...............................
|
