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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i am dating this 21 year old man.we have been together for about 8 months but it was in secret any ways most people know i am seeing him but there was a point when people called me a liar etc.my parents said that they will disown me if i continue with this relationship.we have both decided we don't want to split up but please helpmy parents don't mind the fact that he is 21 and they are not so worried in case we do anything but they are worried it will effect my grades.have my parents the right to tell me to finish him?please give me advice on this subject pleaseplease help me and give me advice please
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female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 You can't always please your parents. Fact.
But if you grades haven't dropped, even in those little class tests that don't mean much, then I don't see how they could say anything to you.
I don't think it's fair to ask you to break up with someone, but try to keep them happy in every other way. Help out around the house more, and maybe you shouldn't study with your boyfriend unless absolutley necessary, as in, no one you know can help you with a particular topic apart from him.
I hope it gets better for you, just don't be a stroppy teenager about it with your parents.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have been dating him for 8 months now i am not having sex with him yet we are waiting till i am ready i met him when i was out with my family at this restaurant.i am now not living with my parents i have moved in with my boyfriend. i work i have a part time job to do after work and sometime on a saturday as well.
i know my parents are trying to look out for me but we haven't done anything yet and i am not planning to for a while.
however my parents only reason for wanting me to finish this relationship is so i do not fail my exams.
but my boyfriend does help me revise i do 3 hours every night.
i do respect my parents and we all make mistakes but you have to learn from them so i just feel at the moment tha there is a bit of a divide in the family
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): They have every right to decide who they let in a house THEY pay for.
You are 16, so legally you can sleep with and date whomever you wish (I know some say it's fours years different, max, but it's unlikely to actually go anywhere near a court if this part of ignored).
But you can move out on your own, ill advised at your age though it may be. Or else you will, just have to continue the relationship outside of the house.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule +, writes (1 December 2010):
Going on a break might not be a bad idea. But I can understand where you're coming from. Make sure that you show your parents that you are working, do two hours study everyday and make sure that they know it. Make sure that he knows that you have to keep on top of your school work and that he won't distract you when you're supposed to be studying.
Good luck
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Your parents are adults of a child, you, and at a certain age, a parent has to give their older child a bit of independence. The world is a dangerous place and I am sure that your parents are worried. How long have you been dating this guy? Where did you meet him? Why would a 21 year old man be dating a 16-17 year old child? This is what is going through your parents' minds and probably a lot of people's. I don't want to presume anything, but from what it seems is like you already know that it is not right. Are you having sex? A 21 year old man nowadays will usually require that much. Your parents are scared, and they don't want to be hurt so I am sure that they believe that if they disown you that the hurt will be less because then they will not have to deal with it. It is also funny to ask if your parents have the "right" to tell you to finish the relationship. Do you live with them? Do they provide the roof over your head? Do you work? Do you contribute to the bills at all? Regardless of your age, you are not legally an adult until you are 18 and as long as you are living in their house, I am sorry, but they DO have the right to tell you what is best for you:( If this guy really loves you, he would respect your parents' wishes too and he would respectfully wait for you:)
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