A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Need some help please on a family related issue please..My parents have been alcoholics since I was little and I had a hard upbringing. The only thing that really helped me growing up at home was having my pet dog alongside me (he's mine since I was young!) and he's been my best friend ever since. I moved out about 4 years ago now for university and I had to leave him with my parents. I wanted to take him with me so much but I couldn't as it wasn't fair as I was out of the house all day. They have recently decided out of the blue that they are moving away. They live at the minute about half an hour away from me and I live in the city. They're now moving about 2 hours away on the coast of the UK and they don't want to take him with them as he is way too old and too much work. He is now currently completely blind and deaf and doesn't know when I'm in the room. I'm worried about taking him to my house where I live in the city and I work full time because again I can't look after him and give him the attention that he deserves and needs. My parents have 4 other dogs they take care of and I don't know if my dog is getting the proper care. I don't know if they can get used to their surroundings once they go completely blind and deaf or really be happy again.I am also worried in case they do take him with them because the 2 hour drive might stress him out to the point where it is unbearable for him and I don't want to put an old dog under so much pressure. It's such a hard situation because I am not there to see how he actually is. All I really know is that he has always been pretty skinny but I can feel his ribs easy and he's still eating but he just sleeps in his bed constantly. My family are moving within a couple of days and a few months ago I was already thinking of taking him to the vets to put him to sleep as I don't think his quality of life is very good and I don't want him to suffer but now that it's come at a time where it's rushed I don't want it to ever feel like I'm doing it just out of an easier circumstance with living situations. It's also difficult because I don't know if I take him to my house he will get stressed and it will dampen my last few days before I have to take him to the vet if he can't cope or I should risk it and let him come to stay with me and see if he adjusts and he would get proper care with me but I wouldn't be able to look after him all the time? Any other pet owners who can help? Thanks in advance everyone!
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alcoholic, best friend, moved out, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, malvern +, writes (3 December 2018):
 Aaaahh you've got to keep him with you, he's yours and you are his. Maybe by now you have found a solution but if not then all I can think of that you employ the services of a dog walker who will come in your house at pre arranged times, and, if they can't walk him, then they can at least spend time with him and let him out for a wee. Failing that then I think another option is to persuade your parents to take him with them, at least he knows them and will feel safe with them. Whatever you do you must not have him put down. Its all very sad.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (1 December 2018):
 You should have taken him with you to uni. There are doggy daycare centres, dog walkers and dogs who stay home alone for 8 hours a day.PLENTY of deaf-blind dogs have immensely happy lives, just like deaf-blind people. They just need committed owners. Unfortunately, whilst uni was a good choice, you didn’t get your dog back as soon as possible. YOU are the only thing in the way of your dog being cared for properly.BE A GROWN UP. He is YOUR dog. No good vet will put him to sleep unless it absolutely NEEDS to happen. Get his HEALTH checked, not get him euthanised! Why aren’t you looking after him?! Him staying with your parents doesn’t mean you should never take any responsibility for his care.I have several pets and I’m a similar age to you - I stepped up. Time for you to do the same. They rely on you. You’ve let go of your responsibility of him for too long. Get him checked at the vet. See what they say. Do research on how to help blind-deaf dogs. YOUR last few days of anything don’t matter. HIS days matter. He’s done so much for you, so you need to return the favour. It’s because I’m an animal lover that I’m trying to be blunt with you. STEP UP. Do NOT try to put him down. FIND A WAY. He is old, so do your best and make it work for however long he has left!
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A
female
reader, Justme93  +, writes (1 December 2018):
No one can make that decision for you. But if it were me I'd take the dog in, yes you work full time but like others have said he may not require as much as you think. And I agree that if you have a neighbor or friend you'd trust to come let him out to go potty while you're at work that should make it a little easier.
But again only you can make that choice
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2018): Do not put the dog down just because you feel you can't look after him. I work full time and have a dog. I also have a dog walker who takes her out everyday. You can get the same but more of someone to keep him company and the odd walk here and there if he can.
You are the owner, not your parents so it was unfair of you to leave him with them in the first place.
There are plenty of old dogs sancturies in the uk. Let him live out his last days in comfort and peace but do not put him down just because you don't have the time to look after him.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (30 November 2018):
 Letting go of a beloved pet is one of the most heart wrenching things that we have to do. For me, having my pet put to sleep unless it was absolutely necessary would be the LAST choice. I had to put to sleep my baby munkin cat of 18 years 2 years ago and I still cry sometimes over it even though she had cancer and could no longer function without being in pain. It was so very hard. If you know your dog is in pain, then by all means end his suffering. If he isn't in pain and is just old then why not take him with you? As honeypie pointed out I doubt if he requires that much attention and would love to be with you. Or else seek out a place where he could go like she suggested.For me again, putting him to sleep would be the last option. I kept my kitty with me until the vet told me that it was "time". She was happy and active playful and loving until that very last day and when I seen she could no longer go potty..it was time. I loved every precious extra second I had with her. I held her in my arms when the vet gave her the final shot to put her to sleep and I know it sounds silly but I truly believed she looked at me and was saying "thank you mommy..I'm tired and its time to say goodbye". Do what your heart tells you to do sweetie.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (29 November 2018):
 You mentioned the three options, which are all difficult. Your dog has lived a good life, received a lot of love from you and I am sure whatever your decision is, he will be forever grateful. My first choice would be euthanasia. The vets are very compassionate people. They won't ever make you feel guilty for making that choice. When you think about putting your animal to sleep, you just "know" and probably had some telepathic communication with your animal, that he's ready to go. Your dog is still eating but with constant sleeping means he's already in and out of life. Rather than making separate trips in the future, why not make his transition smooth and easy?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 November 2018):
 Maybe consider contacting a "old dog sanctuary" like https://www.oldies.org.uk/ and see if they can help you out.
If not, then you have to consider 2 options, taking him in YOURSELF and give him the best (of the rest of his life) that you CAN provide or have him put down.
Personally? I'd take him. He is old and do not require as much as you think. If you parents had him PLUS 5 other dog he probably didn't get all that much attention there either. Just have to find a routine where you take him out before work and after work, and perhaps even see if a neighbor or friend can stop by for a middle of the day potty break.
If it doesn't work out, then call the sanctuary and if that doesn't work out... you have to consider what other options you have.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2018): I can't tell you what to do. I had to leave my beloved dog with my mom when I moved to another country, but she took an excellent care of him. She loved him even when he went blind and survived one aneurysm. The thing is, unless he is in pain (which is sometimes difficult to know) and eats, sleeps and does his business in my opinion, he's fine. I'm not sure how you know that he doesn't know that you're in the room...I'd take him in if he doesn't need constant surveillance. On some level he'll feel your love and care and more importantly you'll be giving yourself an immense gift - an opportunity to give back to someone who has given so much to you. He'll be better off with you than with your parents who took other dogs but didn't want to take care of the one that had been already there.
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