A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am a hospital nurse, a worker, not a boss or manager, am quieter, do my thing, am not full of ego, work quietly and am polite.Am gay.Yeaterday at work this cocky, arrogant young Dr (maybe 27-28) makes a comment to a male nurse (steve) my age that he “is distracted by beautiful women around, no offence to you steve”Steve laughs and says “no offence taken” I was standing at a desk nearby writing something..No other female nurses nearby.My area is full of pretty nurses under 35, Im not one of them!Im pushing 50 and pale and barely average.Surely he was talking generally about the younger nurses?Then, later, At work yesterday, on the way somewhere, I seeThe same male Dr I saw earlier, he walks past me and says“Do you want a ruler”! Me: “no thanks”he then shows me a small plastic measuring ruler) Him: “you can use it to measure your ego” And smirks amd walks off What the hell was that about? I have never spoken to this guy! He is maybe 28, young and over confident. What?In quieter, not a boss, not full of ego!Do I need to worry?I was harassed at work 3 yrs ago on facebook by an older male cleaner i mistakenly “friended” as I thought he was ok (I blocked him after he became inappropriate and no issues since)But it scared me, noone knew about it.What is this young Dr doing?Joking?Intimidating me as an older worker?Im a mid 40s gay woman (dont look gay) who minds her business?!I do not know him and havent said a word to himHelp!!Thankyou.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 November 2018):
 Relax. Everything does not have necessarily to be about you- or against you. Based only on the two episodes you mention, it sounds like he was just joking. Goofing around. Trying to generate a convivial atmosphere at work. You may feel that his humour is lame , nonetheless, as you report it, it does not sound at all malicious or disrespectful.
The first episode you quote, in fact, might even have nothing to do with you at all. For all you know, he might have just been bantering with Steve ( some inside joke, or just speaking in general, to shoot the breeze . Or perhaps referring precisely to the cute young nurses !) without any intention to involve you ,who were standing on your own ,busy with your work.
Or else, perhaps he was actually tryng to be NICE. Being that, since as you say, you look average and are older than your colleagues, probably you get less male attention than the younger ones ( and he cannot now, of course, that male attention is something you do not give a fig about. How would he know ? ) He just knows that women in general like compliments and said something to , in his mind, make you feel good.
(Then again, maybe that's an Italian way of thinking… Here, it's considered kind of rude to deprive a lady of her fair share of compliments :)just because she is not young, or not attractive. When my mom - who is in her late 80s - goes to a restaurant and asks for something special , say, " Can I get my salad with no onion and extra tomatoes ? " the standard answer will be : " Of course . Beautiful ladies should always get what they want ! ".)
The ruler episode is a bit less readable, a bit more "WTF" ..but I still don't think that he wanted to insult you . Why would he ?- if, as you say, you don't even know him, other than by sight, you never talked to him, you never had any professional or personal run-ins ?... It would make no sense.Probably he was , in fact, just tryng to break the ice ,to be generically pleasant on the workplace.
Let's focus on the positive: the young doctor may be too cocky and too confident for your personal tastes- but at least he is not standoffish, he does not pull rank, he is not one of those doctors ( there are quite a few , as I imagine you may have noticed , working in a hospital ) who would not dream of engaging in light-hearted conversation or banter other than with fellow doctors- never with nurses , technicians or orderlies. Hey, at least he is not stuck-up !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2018): I think it's humour as honey pie says . I'm a nurse as well rmn and pretty enough and the docs do joke some are lil more forward . Here an example that may help . It's Christmas and the sho is on duty and is running around with mistletoe kissing all the nurses .. I'm married so he comes to me and hangs the mistletoe and puckers up . Me im allergic. Him looking confused to mistletoe . Me. No just to you and walks away .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 November 2018):
 I think he is trying to joke with you, trying to get you r loosen up around him perhaps.
What would I do? Well, that all depends. Personally, I would just humor back at him. Like with the ruler, I would have told him it's WAY to small to measure your massive ego, but maybe it will suit him better... Which would be sarcasm. Either he gets it and have a laugh or he got knocked down a peg.
Humor is humor, but not all find the same things funny.
As for the pretty nurses comment, I think he was trying to be "charming".
If you don';t know a good come back, just smile and shake your head.
You being gays is irrelevant. He has no right to know about your personal preference.
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