A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am planning to be a father soon, and I just wanted to get your opinions on how I should handle certain situations, should they rise. They are:1. If I caught my son or daughter experimenting with the same gender, how should I go about handling that? I did read that experimentation is normal.2. If I caught my son or daughter masturbating, how should I handle it?Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): I agree totally with Emilysanswers. If this is a step-son you will be getting through a second marriage, let us know and we will re-examine it.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 August 2009):
If you are planning to start being a dad soon then you will have 10 to 15 years to figure this out.
Look at how much society has changed in the last 10 years and imagine how it will be then!
It's like worrying about how you would react if you caught them with a robot!
You'll handle it when you get there.
The age old method of pretending you saw nothing and letting them get on with it is probably the best way. They'll talk to you about it if they need to. Just let them know you'll love them no matter what they get up to.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 August 2009):
 You are going to have so many situations that isn't really shocking, because kids experiment, but it reminds you there growing up and you won't always be right there to offer protection. The best thing to do is teach them what's appropriate.
Girls and boys masturbate. That's a given, so what you don't want to do is embarrass them for doing so. Embarrassment is one way to lower sense of self, and create insecurities about their body, and their sexuality.
At a young age, if they experiment with same sex. it doesn't mean they are gay. So don't freak out there either. Especially if they are preteen when you catch them. Chances are their just experimenting, and if you bring up the term gay, they may not even know what that is. They're still at the "what's this for" phase.
The biggest challenge you'll have is, you know it's inappropriate. You don't want your children doing certain things, but you have to remember your thought process is much more advanced around sexuality than theirs. You need to keep that in mind, and treat them with love no matter what you catch them experimenting. And when you have sexual talks with them, always start out by validating that sexuality is okay, nothing to be embarrassed about but you want to talk to them about keeping them safe and giving them knowledge to better make their decisions. Just as anything else, what we enjoy, can also destroy.
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