A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 32 years old. Recently married my boyfriend of 7 years. We have had differences of opinion even before marriage. Its been just 5 months since we got married. I feel something is wrong in my marriage. He has something to say in everything I do or don't or say. The worst part is, most of the time he is correct, but he puts it in such a blunt way, I get annoyed. This is one small example: We have been having problems in having sex. We do have sex, but sometimes its painful for me. It is getting better. As i understand, the reason is my first experiance of very painful sex. I kept feeling anxious about intercourse ever since. But I made an effort to relax myself, kept telling myself that everything will be ok and now I feel much better, although it still hasn't come to the level I expected sex to be.Most often I get a lot of pleasure, but there is pain as well. Recently, I read in the web about similar problem and that it may probably be due to the fear I have for sex. When I told this to my husband, he jumped at me saying "I told you so, I told you its a psychological problem, you make your self too scared, that is the reason for all these difficulties in having sex". I got hurt. He was telling the truth. But it hurt, the way he said it all. Am I being silly to think like this. I'm 32 years old. Should I be thinking of this in a more mature way? He is a rather caring person, but he doesn't get enough sex from me. I don't feel like it most of the time...again due to the pain I associate with it. What do I do? Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (17 March 2009):
 You can also not take it too seriously. Just humour him. You could say "Yes, I know you are right. You are always right, even when you are wrong, or even when you are being a prick" (pun intended).
In addition to going to a therapist and a relevant medical consultant (ob/gyn?) at your nearest reputable clinic/hospital, you might also want read up on these links:
http://www.karmasutrapictures.com/
http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/relationships/259026/Kama-Sutra-positions
http://www.jijasali.com/kama.php?category=positions
http://www.spaceandmotion.com/kama-sutra-positions.htm
http://kamasutrafree.stores.yahoo.net/kamsutpos.html
Hope you feel better soon!
Cat
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): No you are not silly. You may be 32 years old but you still have feelings do you not? Instead of jumping all over you he should be asking what he can do to help you through this. He doesnt sound like a loving supportive husband at all. I know it has only been a short time for your marriage but I have to say that I would get out of it. Take some time and maybe therapy and concentrate on yourself and healing yourself. Then find someone who loves and respects you for you. This man obviously does not! Let me know how it goes...Jezebel
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