A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have feelings for my best friend. We have gone out to eat together a couple of times, but she pays for herself. We do the same things together after school and spend time together during the school day. I catch myself flirting with her often and at times she flirts back, or at least I think so, I can never tell. The catch is she has a boyfriend but he lives a few states away. To further create problems he way she met him was he was going to rent out an apartment in her parents' house and he now lives there free of charge. They have been together about nine months but has only really spent two months in the same state as him. I don't know what she sees in him. Last time we went out we hung out for several hours after I took her back to the dorm instead of her going back to her room. I had asked her to prom and she said yes until about a month later her boyfriend managed to get time off work after and informed her that he was going to come. Probably important to mention ages in this I am close to 18 she just turned 19 and he is 24 I think, so in my opinion I think it is a bit strange for him to come to any prom regardless of who he goes with. She rarely talks about him, but casually mentioned that she loved him. She has asked me before if I had wanted to be more than friends with her and that was the reason I asked her to prom. I told her I did have a bit of a crush on her and since then we have been hanging out even more. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): I'm not sure if that since I don't have an account if this will show up that I'm the original poster, but I am. Thought this might change things a bit but we are both seniors and in about 9 weeks we will probably be parting ways. I have harbored these feelings for much of the year, hoping she would get tired of a long distance relationship, but since that she didn't and we are nearing the end of the year, I thought, what the hell? That was my attitude when I asked her to prom and later told her I had a crush on her. I should also add that we started hanging out outside of school and going out to eat after I told her that.
A
male
reader, seanjn +, writes (17 March 2009):
useless you make it clear that your cant hang out with her as a friend, the situation most likely wont change.
right now she is getting what she wants without even dating you. if you push her away she might be forced to make a more serious decisiton. it will really suck for a while, but eventually youll either lose a friend or gain a girl friend, but lifes a gamble like that.
i was i love and best freinds with a girl in a long distance realtionship for over 2 years. i told her how i felt and pushed her away. 2 months later she broke up with him and now where going out... so it happens
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A
male
reader, Bryan_j  +, writes (17 March 2009):
I am just out of highschool and have the exact same thing going on with me. I met her in grade 10. we where both single and we quickly started a great freindship, i always liked her but being the shy guy that i am never got to asking her out. i got the courage to ask her to porm but before i asked her she told me she was going to prom alone because it would be more fun. after going dateless to my prom i talked to her and told her how i felt about her, told her that i wanted to be more than freinds, she told me that she liked me to, that she thought i was attractive but didnt have those feelings for me. shes now been dating this guy who i dont think deserves her. my best advice to you would be to really think about it. do you love her? and do you see a relationship lasting a very long time? if so then tell her. its the only way to know. if not, then youll have to get over your feelings and be her freind.
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