A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think my husband is overly critical and he thinks that i m overly sensitive. I feel he lives in a dreamworld where he feels the need to have a perfect wife with a perfect figure who is also a great cook etc etc. I feel he is always criticising me and I find it hard to believe that he does not even admire me when I look my very best. This really annoys me and then I pick fights with him. I just feel very hurt in both these scenarios - when he doesnt compliment me when I am looking good and of course when he criticises me on other occasions. The criticism is not just limited to my body, it is about my shoes, jewellery, clothes, my food every possible thing you can imagine. When I start fighting, it gets very ugly and then I point all his negatives...I end up being the bad person at the end of every fight although it started because of him. I feel very sorry for him and myself too......please someone help. Is there someway, I can help him to change his critical behaviour? Something constructive? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 Ok here is how it is.Your husband expects you to be a perfect cook and have a perfect figure and what not. The least he can do is lead by example. Whenever I ask anything of anyone I am the first one to do it. Why? Because I respect them. He DOES NOT respect you.You need to initiate the converstation in a calm manner and say, "We need to have a talk. I am as good at cooking as I am. If you are not satisfied with it, then you cook for a change. I don't have a perfect figure? Ok well let's both go to a fitness center." If there are none in you area, improvise.What I am saying is demand respect. I have seen husbands that are fat and ugly and lazy and stupid and unsuccessful emotionally rip apart their wives who are SEXY, beautiful, hardworking, smart, and successful. I think he is turning into that.I recommend you break it off, but if you want to work at it tell him that you like his ideas and you will be willing to listen to his criticisms of you, if he will listen to yours. This will allow you two to work together on improving yourselves.
A
male
reader, bouncer  +, writes (25 September 2009):
put your foot down now ; is he so perfect how dare he
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 September 2009):
 Interestingly I find your letter to be very critical of him. You are of course perfect and all of the problems in your marriage stem from his behavior. And should you do something wrong it is because he made you do it. When you say he lives in a fantasy world it tells me that you have already closed your mind to any possible solutions. There is nothing I can tell you to do that you would believe.
FA
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