A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok guys. i realllllly need some help here. first the basics.. im 17 years old, i have a step dad and 2 younger siblings (6 and 7). ok, so ive never met my real dad. i know that he was a bad person, he hit my mum (and worse) and has been in and out of prison for years, and i know some people might not understand why im about to ask this but please dont judge just tell me the facts to help me. i want to meet him and need to know how to find him. without going into too much detail, my mum refuses to tell me anything because she knows how nasty he was. but with complete respect to her and her need to feel like shes doing whats best for me, this is NOT about her anymore, its about me and she will never understand what its like to have a gap like that in your life. so please dont tell me to ask my mum. heres the problem - i dont know his last name. my mum wont tell me it, and all i know is his first name. i dont know anything else, but i know hes been in prison and i might be able to find out where or when, so there will be records? so any ideas on how i can go about this? im aware that chances are i wont get anywhere but i appreciate any comments. thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): hi, thanks :) i dont think he is on my birth certificate as they werent married and my mum would have had the choice of putting him down, and i know she wouldnt have. but ill give it a shot anyway. funnily enough after i posted this a few days later my mum thought i was at college but id taken the day off as i was ill, and i heard her talking to my step dad about how she was worried id start asking questions again when im 18. weird. anyway ill definitly have a look on that site and thankyou for the help :D
A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 Hi,Isn't his name on your birth certificate? If you don't have that and can't ask your mum for it, then you need to access the Births, Deaths, and Marriages Registry. This can be done online, or you can write to them, etc. There would be a fee payable to order a copy of your birth certificate. For information go to;http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/There would definitely be prison records, but you'd need his full name, (including middle name), for that. Once you have his name you can also search the Electoral Roll and that may yield information as to his current whereabouts,(if he's enrolled to vote).Your mum is no doubt trying to protect you, but you're at an age where you're going to wonder more and more about who the other person is that's a part of who you are, and you will find a way to locate him eventually anyway, so you may as well get it over and done with. She probably doesn't realise how important it is to you to know that person and find things out for yourself. I'd advise caution, sometimes people change but sometimes they don't, and you may be inviting problems into your life and your family's if you find your Dad. I'd suggest that if you do manage to find an address for him, that you keep your own details to yourself, (ie; where you live, etc), and if you write to him use a post box as your reply address. Best of luck, :)
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