A
female
age
,
*tudio251
writes:I have been married for 16 years and have two children. My husband has been unresponsive and ignoring me for probably 5 of those years. I have considered leaving him many times but haven't for the sake of the children. We have now unofficially seperated, living in different areas of the house because he refuses to leave. Now the interesting part... I have started seeing a friend of his and his close co-worker. We have been having the best sex ever for the last couple of months. He is a little or a lot freaked out about the situation and I feel like I have completely fallen for him. Not sure if it is infactuation or the real thing. He dosn't call because he is afraid we will get caught and I am always trying ways to see him. It seems a little one sided to me although he is totally into me when we finally connect. The whole thing is making me crazy because I want to see him all of the time. Getting caught would make it difficult for him at work. They are a tight knit group of firefighters. I just want to get on with my life, I probably would have been better off straying farther from the nest but you can't always choose who your attracted to. Please help!
View related questions:
at work, co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): If your husband will not leave can you legally enforce him to by starting a divorce proceeding? Could you move out and obtain a legal financial agreement? Living in separate areas of the house can only last so long surely - its not emotionally healthy for either of you and stops you being above to move on. Perhaps this other guy is a rebound but it sounds like you have been very unhappy for a long time so deserve some fun. All I would say is that by removing yourself completely from your marriage you are making it easier but like this you are playing with fire (quite literally!).
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 This is a very difficult thing you're going through.
The best advice here is to physically separate from your husband, and either he moves out or you do.
If you can't reconcile, then get a divorce. This will make it easier to build a new relationship with whoever it is that you want to.
It may even be easier for your husband to deal with this, if the new man in your life (and your childrens' lives) is someone that he knows and trusts.
The last thing you want to do is go through all the guilt and shame, and the nightmare of sneaking around your husband's back in an extra-marital affair when, as you say, your marriage is already irretrievably broken.
Staying together for the children is often the worst thing to do. When you live the way you're living the children begin to sense that something's not normal. Its better to be honest with the children than create an emotional battle zone where no one's happy.
As for cultivating the relationship with the new man, I would tread carefully. If its infatuation then you don't want to hurt him, or his working relationship with your husband, or their working relationship in what is otherwise an extremely dangerous profession.
...............................
|
