A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I have a problem with over analysing the situations where I find out a guy likes me. Basically, a friend of mine has recently made it known to my best friend that he likes me, and I don't know what to do! I get upset when I feel like no one finds me attractive, but then when someone does, I freak out and start panicking. I'm a constant worrier in general, and I automatically start over-analysing the situation; why does he like me? What if i'm not good enough? What if he dumps me because I'm not what he thought I was, and tells all his friends?, and I start thinking about what would we be like if we were in a relationship. I'm not the most sexually experienced person either; I've just turned 20, and i've only slept with one guy,and he's much more experienced than I am. There are a lot of girls who sleep around in the city I live in as well, so I'm afraid that by me standing out by having a lack of experience and being insecure about my body, this will have an effect...You See! I'm completely over-analysing already, and nothing's even happened; he talks to me on FB and when he sees me, but on a recent night out, he said to my best friend that he feels like giving up trying with me (although I don't feel as if he's tried that hard, and my friend agrees.. is that wrong?).I know I'm quite shy, and lots of other people can tell that too (although I'm gaining a little confidence). I've never had a boyfriend; I always turn guys down because I panic! I really don't know what to do. My best friend knows I'm shy but says I should just go for it, because I won't know until I try! I know this is the good advice, but I just can't seem to get the panic and over-analysing out of my thoughts! He's a lovely guy, good looking, and I've known him for a while (but not that close to him), but I don't know if I have any feelings for him yet...How can I stop worrying? I feel so stupid, and need help! Even if things don't happen between me and him, I know that I'll have to get over this to have a relationship, and hopefully a family one day. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I have tried so many times to think 'what the heck?' and think positive, but it never lasts long. Sorry for the essay, but I need help! Any replies will be greatly appreciated!
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best friend, confidence, insecure, never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 hee hee hee, perfeclty normal. Welcome to being a woman!!
Take the plunge and see what happens.... We all have to. It gets easier with time sweetpea
Good luck
A
male
reader, MikeEa1 +, writes (11 April 2012):
 every female i know is an overanalyser and constant worrier. its how you are. my mum constantly worries about all of her grandchildren. you should try and moderate this behaviour maybe by meditating or something but don't think you're the only one. maybe meditation will help slow your thought processes down so you can handle situations more effectively.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): First of all it's good that you've noticed that you over analyse things.
You are aware that you are doing it so you can try to control it.
I usually over analyse things too,but when I become aware that I am I try to stop myself.
You honestly just HAVE to say "what the heck?" sometimes or you are never going to get anywhere with anyone.
I know getting into a dating situation or a new relationship is a worrying & daunting prospect but you have to remember there is an element of risk involved with anything in life.
Worries like you talk about in your post are really just things most people would think about when faced with the prospect of a new partner in their lives.
You honestly just have to take then plunge & if it doesn't work out you have to just mark it down to experience.
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