A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i recently found out through a friend that my girl friend of 3 years has a AdultfriendFinder sliver membership, according to her profile shes been with 10 guys off there in the past year and also had a 3some, she has videos up using a toy that i made for her it was something personal between us and i cant belive that shes using it in videos to hook up with other guys, i dont know how to confront her about this and keep her as my gf or if i should just leave her ive been off contact with her for 2weeks and shes been emailing and texting saying she is hurt and disappointed in me, im unsure what i can say to her cause it feels like my heart has been ripped out and everything between us was a lie
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): I agree with emily. I don't think this is healable. You can't win here. Just respect yourself and move on.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 January 2010):
I know a few other people are telling you to go and have a big shouting match and confront her about this.
But I would simply call her and tell her you know about her web accounts and you never want to hear from her again.
Keep your dignity. Simply tell her you know and it's over, and then cut contact completely. Get a friend to go round and pick up any belongings etc and then move on.
There is no need to give in to screaming like a baboon.
There are better women in the world, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Simply spend the minimum amount of phone credit possible to inform her that she needs to leave you alone, and then grieve and move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Well if she doesnt know that you know yet, you could have a little fun with it, and either get even, or givve her a taste of her own medicine, that's the extent i'll mention, as this is for serious replys, as im not sure if your more hurt then angry, but let's just say, if she doesnt know you know, and your not totally brokedown over it(i imagine it tore you up) but not knowing how involved you were as far as feelings went, you could very well make her sorry she did this and had no regard for your feelings, and at the same time dump her! but as far as what or how you'd do that, i'll just leave that to your creative imagination, but make sure you use a different name and picture when you sign up, be smart! she wont know which way to run, when you meet for sex, and she realizes it's you!
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (5 January 2010):
Adultfriendfinder is basically a site for people who want to meet for sex only, mostly married people or people in committed relationships elsewhere. So most likely she justifies her behavior by saying its only a physical thing and I don't love these men. Since she has been doing this during your relationship you need answers. You need to know why she would do this. But you definitely deserve better and should perhaps consider moving on. Make sure you have the proof ready to show her when you confront her. Because she could easily plead a lesser charge of "just flirting, nothing happened" and you will get swept away with that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): I totally understand how your feeling at the moment, I just found out my boyfriend of 5 years has been using a dating site to have emotional affairs.if you have the evidence and you are %100 sure its her then tell her you know,saying nothing is not going to help you.my suggest for you would be to run as fast as you can from this person.only you can make the choice if you want to stay with her,if you stay not only will you have to forgive what she did but also forget. I know, I have been cheated on and trying to forgive and forget is very hard.the fact she has been doing this for what could be over a year suggest she could be addicted to sex.when someone is doing this sort of thing behind their partners back with no guilt or worry about how this could hurt the relationship could suggest they have already justified in their mind what they are doing is ok and they obviously don't care about what your feelings are in regards to these type of actions while in a relationship.I hope all the best for you :)p.s probably best to get yourself tested just in case she has passed on any nasty std's to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): You are doing the right thing by not talking to her. Just forget about that girl, there are much better women in the world.
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