A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My best girl friend for more than 10 years was hanging out every day with my boyfriend and me, who also likes her around and she is like our best friend together. Well her room mate moved out and she could not afford the rent herself so we said she could move in with us. She cooks and cleans and buys food, and really helps out. She sleeps on the couch and that part works out ok. But..She has an annoying habit of walking in on my b/f and me when we are having sex. She also started climbing into the shower with one of us every morning. She calls us shower buddies and lathers us all up (that part is kinda nice). We have an old apartment and the door locks don't work. It wasn't a problem when it was just us.She has been living with us for 2 weeks now and has walked in on us about 7 times so far. Not only that, but she'll walk in on us having sex and start a conversation! She's not even a little bit shy about it. It doesn't bother my b/f, well nothing embarrasses him. I talked to her about this very nicely after the third time and she said it doesn't bother her and for us to just go about our business. She's a bit dense that way.Well now she started walking around our place nude all the time and the last time she walked in on us having sex, she was naked and actually sat down on the bed. My b/f was going down on me and she just sat there and talked as though we weren't going at it. She actually said she wanted to watch so she could improve her technique. She was talking about what he was doing to me like a f'in science experiment.My b/f said I am making too much of this and that if she is okay with watching us I shouldn't be such a whiner. She is like my best friend ever and she is kinda lonely right now and vulnerable. I think she needs to get laid and maybe this will stop if she has her own penis.Am I being a whiner and making too much of this stuff or should I put my foot down?
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best friend, moved out, roommate, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): The odds narrow even further when it transpires they're both from Canada. Now I know Canada is a fairly big place, not exactly walking distance from west coast to east, but still...
I'm assuming that this poster (the one on this thread, here) is unhappy with the way this domestic arrangement is developing, while his boyfriend (the other guy) is the self-same gentleman who fucked this nice lady in the shower earlier today. Two of them seem very happy with the way it's going, but one of them definitely isn't.
We have an almighty mess here. I am at a loss for constructive advice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): And the lady just confessed!http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-have-feelings-for-my-gay-roommates-and.htmlNow it might be these are not the same people at all, but what are the odds.. lmao
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): I agree with everyone else too. It sounds like she is angling herself to join you guys at some point.
If you are uncomfortable, then talk to her again. If that doesn't work, then buy a new door lock.
It didn't sound as though you minded the showering and perhaps that is sending her the wrong message. You need to tell her that showering together is one thing, but hanging around watching you have sex is off limits.
Ask her if you can watch her have sex with her b/f or g/f and see how that goes over. Just because you are all really close friends doesn't mean you share "everything".
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): She clearly gets off on watching you. You need to make it clear that you DON'T get off on being watched, in fact you find it a total invasion.
Now that she's walked in on you SEVEN times (wtf??!!) she obviously thinks it's completely OK by you. You talked to her 'very nicely' about it after the third time...a bit too nicely it seems. Just because you've known and really loved someone for years on end doesn't mean you've no right at all to speak up when something needs to be addressed. It doesn't need to be nasty or involve raised voices.
Your boyfriend obv has no objection to being watched...good for him, but you DO find it a problem, so it's still a privacy violation. Her walking around nude, and joining you in the shower, might seem to indicate that she's hoping for a three-way. Not on, unless you want to, which I gather you don't.
Talk to her about this, a little more directly than you did last time.
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11  +, writes (15 October 2009):
 You should deffinately put your foot down...you need privacy! Talk to her and tell her she needs to stop and that is getting ridiculous! Hopefully she will understand! Good luck!
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