A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with a girl for about five years now. Things are pretty good but our sex life is nonexistent. This year we've only been intimate 3 times and last year it about 10 times. I've tried to talk to her about this but I cant seem to get a real answer. Ive been considering breaking up for the past or so but always chincken out. I've also cheated on her several times due to the lack of sex, which I regret but I cant seem to help it. What should I do?
View related questions:
sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): Tell her straight how things are. You need sex, she refuses and won't talk about it and that if nothing changes you will break up with her. That will probably result in you two breaking up but it gives her one last chance to get her act together and actually try and fix the problem. If she prefers to break up then she was probably never going to try and be any different anyway.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): HI,
I had all these great ideas when I read the title, but since you have already cheated on her, you might as well break up with her. Once she finds out you cheated, I figure she will never have sex with you again.
Man up and break it off.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, LadyGodiva +, writes (30 June 2009):
 Have you asked her to maybe get a full check-up from her doctor?Her hormones could be out of balance,medication side effects can certainly shut down the libido,thyroid issues.I do understand your pain,I'm on the other side.for humor's sake,Your girlfriend and my boyfriend should get together,and you and I should get together.We've been together for a little over 2 years,last year we were intimate twice and this year once so far.I can't blame you for going outside the relationship for fulfilling your needs,I couldn't do it.Although I've thought about it enough.It's like someone you love not caring at all if your emotional and physical needs are met,even though you would do that for them.It does hurt.I'd send her in for a check up.I switched medications before and it totally changed my libido around from a spinster pace to a 18 yr old boy's pace.And I was 35 when that happened. Good Luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): stop depriving her of her dignity and break up with her instead of cheating because you don't have any idea what its like to be a women when the man that she cares about cheats on her it completely breaks her heart which im sure you'll find out. you need to be honest with her and yourself break up with her its the only logical thing to do, some women (and i happen to know the type) just arent that fond of sex from the start or it maybe she is uncomfortable during either way its really low of you to cheat.
...............................
A
male
reader, mytwocents +, writes (30 June 2009):
 You basically just described my life. Boy, could I tell you stories.I'm sure you sort of already know that you only have two choices (two-and-a-half, really):1. Bite the bullet and break up with her now since she's not meeting what's obviously an crucial need for you (needs you are entitled to, even if people on this website will excoriate you because they're sexual). Spare her the cruelty of repeatedly cheating on her, harboring frustrated disatisfaction toward her, and preventing her from moving on with her own life. While things are "good" otherwise, this problem is significant enough that you "can't help" but cheat on her.2. Chicken out for a few more years and THEN break up with her, then regret wasting so much time in a unfulfilling, sexless relationship.2a. Get caught cheating, she tries to dump you, you grovel and beg for her back out of guilt and fear. She forgives you and maybe cheats on you at some point. You stay with her for a few years, maybe even marry her, and THEN you do choice 2.I'm sure people will tell you to talk to her and figure out what the problem is with her. Is it a libido issue? Could she see a doctor? So, maybe that's an additional choice. But I have a feeling you've done that already.
...............................
|
