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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been in a very serious relationship for the past year and a half. We have both gone through some tough personal moments, but our relationship together has always been very strong. Suddenly he stopped answering my calls, he doesn't call me at all and he ducks me when I try to visit him. We are not young teenagers. We both have adult children (and grandkids on the way). Is he going through something that only men go through? Help me understand where I stand since he just shut me out. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2005): Dont jump to conclusions. You say you two have been in a very long relationship, you have children and your expecting grand children, I can only expect he's going through some kind of mid-life crisis. He's realised hes acheived one main goal in life, being comitted to one partner and moving on to have children, he now may feel there is not much more left in life to acheive. I say show him your concern, do not appear angry and dissappointed. Show him you love him and that you truly care, if he still doesn't seem interested in your efforts, I suggest you give him some time to evaluate his situation and slowly but surely come out of his slump. However, without jumping to conclusions, try and ensure its not another woman your dealing with, in which case maybe you should move on...but as I said this man obviously cares enough for you to have beared your children and brought them up with you so it is not safe or advisable to get angry at him straight away. Try to rekindle your love and be open minded, and open hearted about his possibly difficult situation. Now I'm only 19 years old, but I truly believe in the notion of trust, so if your love stands for anything, let it stand for sacred trust and genuine love for yourself, your partner and your children.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2005): NO he suffers from an epidemic that affects both men and women. Cowardice. You are too important of a woman to be playing cat and mouse with any man. Leave him a note saying whatever you have to say so that you can have some closure and move on. If he is acting like this now it is a sign that he is always going to run away from his problems. You don't want someone like that.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (9 June 2005):
 Tell him you need to know what he's feeling...if he wishes to keep a relationship with you. You two need to have the "talk". His behavior is questionable. He seems to be afraid or possibly guilty and he feels he cannot face you. But I'd get down to the bottom of this if I were you.
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