A  ,
anonymous
writes:Ok my problem is that I'm in love with my best friend. I'm a lesbian and she is a girl- I've never actually told her this outright, but it's quite obvious so I guess she might kinda know. But she has a boyfriend (the 3 of us live together with another guy because were students) and they have the most amazing physical relationship- and tell each other all the time that they love each other but the thing is they don't really talk to each other and don't spend time with each other in the day. And argue a lot. Me and her spend loads of time together- most of our time together, and we flirt and talk about everything tell each other secrets etc, and always have sooo much eye contact.I'm confused. The thing is I can't have her and this is causing me much pain. What should I do- go and find someone else (would be really hard) or tag along with her even though I feel second best? Does it sound like I have a chance with her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): hi i have expirienced exactly the same problem i love my best friend so much. but i'm not sure if i am a lesbian or not its confusing me and putting me through pain everyday. she has a boyfriend but i feel bad if i dont let her talk about him to me, even when it makes me hurt. i think you should tell you're friend. if she is your best friend she should take into consideration how you feel. and not find it weird i told me friend and we're still as close as we were. go for it this might make you feel a whole lot better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): i know how you feel my best friend is straight and has been wiv her bf now for 1 year but she knows i have been in love with her for years. ya know what takes the piss is that he treats her like shit, he is living with her at her parents home even tho no1 in her family like him and doesn't have a job, weve all tried tellin her but she just says she loves him and there soul mates, he's changing her from the best friend i made years ago.
it pains to see them 2geva rite yeah i know, and ya have them long eye contacting moments that make ya doubt if she is straight yeah i know we have them all the time.
ya can try not seeing her but it hurts dont it, the best thing to do is this:
1= tell ya mate how ya feel and flirt like mad wiv her spend abit of time doin this and giv her loadsa attention
2= bite ya tung and get a bf (a pretend 1 bt dnt tell him)
3= still see ya mate but bring ya fake bf along and be all ova him
4= take ya bf's side no matter what
5= soon you will relise ya mate is confused coz you just told her you loved her and spent ages givin her loads of attention and now this
6= if your mate confronts you about this gently use this to your advantage and make her fall for you rite back, then when the time is rite make ya move on her
7= if ya mate dont confront you and ignores you, finish your fake bf and get as much sympothy as you can.
THIS DOES WORK COZ EITHER WAY YOU WILL EITHER GET THE GIRL OR LOOSE NOTHING.
KIM UK
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): i know your pain it can be hard to be in love with someone and not have a clue if they love you back and the only way you will find out if you and your mate can go out is for you to tell her outright how you feel and then let her make up her mind what she wants to do with the information you have given her, dont pressure her to make a decision here and now, offer her time toi think things through and make sure you tell her if she doesnt want anything to happen you still wanna be best buds but with slight changes, good luck xxx
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A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (9 June 2005):
 Be a supportive friend to her. She is in a relationship right now. Maybe she's so close with you because she highly values your friendship. Maybe you are such a good friend she wants to spend loads of time with you. You mentioned that you tell each other secrets. Is one of those secrets that she wants to get into your pants? If not, be careful... You could lose her friendship if you can't wait. Let her figure out what she's going to do with her relationship. If she ends it with her boyfriend, only then is it ok to let her know how you feel. If you tell her now, you will only add to her problems with her boyfriend. And they might even blame you and kick you out. I'm not saying don't tell her. I'm saying if you desire a relationship with your best friend, wait until the current relationship has ended, then tell her.
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